At the next stall she bought a photograph frame which had lost its prop in an unequal contest with a tea-tray which had collapsed from the heartiness of the Rector's clapping at the conclusion of the Countess's speech; and a Noah's Ark from which the star performer and his very best beasts had somehow disappeared. Then the little lady paused before the live-stock stall. "There isn't anything really hideous here," she murmured to herself; "but I think that puppy--it's never had its tail cut, and nobody will ever know whether it's a sealyham, a spaniel or even a dash of a setter--I will take the puppy, please," she added, "as soon as I've had some tea. After that I will see what is left. You have such nice things." After tea she went back to the youngest Miss Dodd and collected a few more of the more glaring atrocities, paid her bills, and then went off to her pony-carriage; the youngest Miss Dodd, very much inclined to giggle, bearing armfuls of odd purchases in her wake, crowned by the bowl of cream and the mongrel pup. She handed them in and was just going away when the little old lady pressed a piece of paper into her hand. "I don't like to worry people," she said gently, "but if you have time you might read this. It has been a great opportunity to-day; I don't often find so much to be done--and I shall love the puppy." The youngest Miss Dodd watched the start of the ugly pony with a snigger and then went back into the lighted hall to read the pamphlet. It was a touching little document--many people know it well--and the youngest Miss Dodd, who had never been known to sentimentalize over anything before, blew her nose rather violently when she had read it. "Bless her dear little soul!" she said to herself: "I don't wonder that pup was trying to kiss her. I only hope she won't try to eat that cream with the glass in it, or give it to the pup." For the pamphlet was the Rules for Membership and a treatise on the Objects and Methods of the "Society for Buying What Nobody Wants." * * * * * MORE PROFITEERING. "Beautiful champagne broche silk crepe de chine blouse; open neck; one button; cost 2s. 6d.; accept 15s."--_The Lady_. * * * * * [Illustration: INEFFICIENCY IN THE NAVY. _First Bluejacket_. "HULLO, MATE, I THOUGHT YOU WAS ASHORE WITH THE CAPTAIN, PLAYING GOLF." _Second Bluejacket_. "WELL, SO I WAS. IT'S LIKE THIS 'ERE. 'E GIVES ME 'IS STICKS TO CARRY, AND THEN TAKES ONE AND PUTS A LI'L WHITE BALL ON TOP OF A BIT O' SAND AND, MY WORD! HE CATCHES THAT BALL A FAIR SWIPE. MUST 'A' GONE MILES. THEN 'E TURNS TO ME AND SEZ, 'DID YER SEE WHERE THAT WENT TO?' SO I SEZ, SMART LIKE, 'OUT O' SIGHT FROM THE MOMENT OF HIMPACT, SIR,' AN' 'E SEZ, 'GO BACK ON BOARD, YE BLINKIN' FATHEAD!'"] * * * * * CONVERSIONS.