It is all nonsense for a contemporary to say that the blizzard in the North on a recent Saturday did no damage. Several of the football results were delayed. *** While visiting Seaton College, New York, the other day, Mr. ROOSEVELT saluted a statue of ALEXANDER THE GREAT. We have always maintained that there is nothing petty about the EX-PRESIDENT. *** The most striking announcement of the year 1917 comes just when it is almost used up. "There is a steady demand for money," says a Stock Exchange report. *** A mummified duck, estimated to be two thousand years old, has been discovered in a sandstone stratum in Iowa. It is not often that the poulterers of Iowa are caught napping. *** An American policeman is said to have written two successful musical comedies. If we remember rightly it was an English policeman who first composed the Frog's March. *** At a Guildford charity fête the winner of a hurdle race was awarded a new-laid egg. If he succeeds in winning it three years in succession it is to become his own property. *** The L.B. & S.C. Railway desire to state that the train from which the deserter jumped without injuring himself was not really doing its best. *** A burglar was discovered concealed beneath the counter of a Leicester butter-merchant's shop. It is understood that he came early to avoid the rush. * * * * * [Illustration: _Manager_. "WHY DON'T YOU GET IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STAGE?" _Tenor_ (_haughtily_). "I PREFER STAYING WHERE I AM." _Manager_. "ALL RIGHT--ALL RIGHT! I SUPPOSE YOU THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO POP DOWN THE EUPHONIUM IF THERE'S AN AIR-RAID."] * * * * * TITLE AND HALF-TITLE PAGES. With a view to economy of paper, the title and half-title pages of the Volume which is completed with the present issue are not being delivered with copies of _Punch_ as usual; they will however be sent free, by post, upon receipt of a request. Those readers who have their Volumes bound at the _Punch_ Office, or by other binders in the official binding-cases, will not need to apply for copies of the title and half-title pages, as these will be bound in by the _Punch_ Office or supplied direct to other binders along with the cases. * * * * * "AFFAIRS IN RUSSIA. [printed upside down: "MILITARY DICTATORSHIP"] "EXPECTED."--_Egyptian Daily Mail_. It looks as if the expectation has been upset. * * * * * "The defendant expressed regret that having misunderstood a newspaper paragraph he charged one penny for a box of 'Pilot matches.' Directly his attention was drawn to the matter he at once charged the correct price, 3s. 4¾d."--_South London Press_. Our journalists should really be more careful not to mislead honest tradesmen. * * * * * WITH THE AUXILIARY PATROL.