Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, December 26, 1917 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, December 26, 1917Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, December 26, 1917
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"It's all very well for you," I added. "But what about me, when it
comes to totting up your travelling allowances later on?"
George has private means, which work out at about one-and-fourpence,
less income tax, a day. Consequently he is a little careless about
money matters. "Oh, that'll be all right," he said.
* * * * *
George was away for three weeks. What he did all the time I'm sure
I don't know, though I kept on reporting to my superiors that the
necessary steps were being taken and the requisite measures were being
initiated. When he got back he wanted to start in at once telling me
all about it. But I said no, and insisted on getting down to the War.
"In making out travelling claims," I said, producing the appropriate
Army Form, "care should be taken to comply with the instructions
contained in the King's Regulations. We have a quarter of an hour
before your breakfast will be ready. Let us deal with our more
formidable enemies, the Pay People, first."
George is the sort of person who gets you into trouble on the very
first line of any Army Form. Asked as to his rank, he told me he was a
Second Lieutenant in the Army, temporary Lieutenant, acting Captain.
All these ranks get a different rate of allowance. Which of the three
was George in fact?
"A man of your age ought to know better," I said.
We were half-an-hour late for breakfast, and even so George hadn't got
to the station of departure, as far as A.F.O. 1771 was concerned.
I determined to devote the morning to the matter, clearing the court
for the purpose. Our Mr. Booth, however, who is intolerably precise
and accurate in these matters, had profited by my absence at breakfast
to collect a folio of relevant Orders and Instructions, numbered one
to seventy-three consecutively.
It all sounds so simple, doesn't it? You get so many francs a day for
subsistence, and so many francs a night for accommodation, in France;
so many lire a day for subsistence, and so many lire a night for
accommodation, in Italy. Ah yes, but you don't know George when he is
in action. Not content with travelling in the dark, and so subsisting
by night when he ought to be accommodated, and being accommodated by
day when he ought to be subsisting, he could never make up his mind
to stay in the same country for two days together. As to his constant
movements from one country to the other, three times he had supposed
he had finished with Italy and was due back in France; each time
he had got comfortably across the frontier into France he had been
recalled to Italy. Never once had he the sense to cross the frontier
on the stroke of midnight, and so make a complete twenty-four hours
of it on each side, and all the time the rate of exchange was varying
by a fraction. But, as George said, it wasn't himself who was
manipulating the rate of exchange as between the two countries, and
courtesy to allied nations prevented him from manipulating the trains.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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