"This, of course, brings up the almighty question--Who wrote Shapespeare?"--_Mr. George Moore in "The Observer_." A short answer to this almighty question is--Either Mr. GEORGE MOORE or the writer who determined "to call a spade a spape." * * * * * "Cook-General, good (26), Wanted immediately, or by December 6th, for three months, in Exeter. Wages 50s. per mouth."--_Express and Echo (Exeter)_. We confidently hope that she has only one. * * * * * [Illustration: _Mother_. "GOOD GRACIOUS! THAT'S NOT YOUR NEW BEST HAT?" _Child_. "WELL, MOTHER, YOU KNOW I TOLD YOU WHEN WE GOT IT THAT IT WOULDN'T WEAR WELL." _Mother_. "I DON'T REMEMBER YOUR SAYING SO." _Child_. "YES, MOTHER. SURELY YOU REMEMBER I SAID, 'THE FIRST TIME THAT HAT'S SAT ON IT'S DONE FOR'?"] * * * * * BELIEVE ME OR BELIEVE ME NOT. Although he had been rendered absolutely dumb by shell-shock the soldier was able to earn a little extra money by doing odd jobs. But nothing could get his speech back. It was a very stubborn and perplexing case. For eighteen months he had not succeeded in uttering a word, though understanding everything that was said to him. All the usual devices had failed; every kind of sudden surprise to startle him into articulation had been attempted; electricity had been passed through the muscles of the tongue and larynx; doctors had discussed him with a volubility only equalled by his own silence. But he remained dumb. It seemed hopeless. Last week the mistress of the house where he was mostly employed sent him to the grocer's with, as usual, a slip of paper. The paper was addressed to the grocer, and it said, "Please do your utmost to give the bearer some sugar and tea. Even the smallest quantity will be gratefully welcomed." Entering the shop the soldier laid the message on the counter, prepared to wait patiently for the harassed tradesman to attend to him. He had often been there before and knew what it meant; but on this occasion the grocer instantly advanced to meet him, took the paper smilingly and read it. "Certainly," he replied. "I suppose four pounds of each would be enough to go on with?" "Four pounds!" said the soldier. "Strike me pink, she'd think herself the Queen with four ounces!" * * * * * THINGS WE SHOULD LIKE TO SEE ILLUSTRATED. From a recent novel:-- "... Then the gong went, and she followed it into the dining-room ..." * * * * * "Class A (fit for general service) is subdivided as follows:--1--Men actually fit for general service in any theatre in all respects. 2--Recruits who should be fit for A1 as soon as trained. 3--Men who have previously served with an expeditionary force who should be fit for £1 as soon as 'hardened.'"--_Scots Paper_. They must be well worth it, even in a soft state.