"He means," I said, "those delightful and lingering committee meetings, when you have nearly separated and suddenly remember all the subjects you have forgotten." "Now," she said, "you are really funny." "I'm a man and can only do my best." "That's the pity of it; but now you've got the women to help you." "So I have. Well, _au revoir_ in the polling-booth." "Anyhow, _à bas_ the smoking-room." R.C.L. * * * * * [Illustration: WAR ECONOMY. _Aunt Liz_. "WHERE YER GOIN', TINY?" _Tiny_. "PICTURES." _Aunt Liz_. "GOT YER MONEY?" _Tiny_. "NO." _Aunt Liz_. "WHAT YER GOIN' TO DO, THEN?" _Tiny_. "SHOVE IN." _Aunt Liz_. "ALL RIGHT. MIND YER DON'T GET RUNNED OVER."] * * * * * "Hot pennies and halfpennies were thrown from the windows at a West Hartlepool wedding party. One fell down the back of a schoolboy, burning him, and has been awarded £5 damages."--_Eastern Dally Press_. And did the poor boy get nothing? * * * * * "The Lower House of the Convocation of Canterbury has a very full agenda. Reports of the respective Joint Committees on the Royal Letters of Business, Purity of Life and the Revision of the Dictionary ... will be taken into consideration; and, afterwards, several motions on a variety of topics will be brought forward. One of these begs the War Office to provide some means of protecting, when necessary, ladies of education working in munition factories 'from the profane language and swearing of the officials under whom they work.'"--_Church Courier_. The dictionary certainly needs revising if this sort of language appears in it. * * * * * "After doing a few rounds of the field a wha he 'naives' call a errific speed, he calf leaped a high wall inoa nohehr field, and, followed by a number of men, made sraigh for he cliffs. Fearing nohing, he animal jumped from the cliff."--_Daily Dispatch_. It is conjectured that the unfortunate animal was missing its "t." * * * * * "Wanted Plain Dressmaker, who goes out daily, for altering and re-making."--_Irish Paper_. After a few days of this process she may hope to be a plain dressmaker no longer. * * * * * [Illustration: _Mistress_ (_to under-gardener, who has been up to be examined for the Army_). "I SUPPOSE, JOHN, YOU TOLD THEM YOU WOULD NOT BE EIGHTEEN UNTIL THE END OF THE MONTH?" _John_. "NO USE, MUM. YOU ONLY GETS CHEEK UP THERE IF YOU SAYS ANYTHING."] * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. (_BY MR. PUNCH'S STAFF OF LEARNED CLERKS._)