I couldn't exhume a complete family tree, or no doubt I should have found all these worthies hanging on their respective branches, though Marmaduke might have dropped off, as he appears to have been a bit over-ripe from what I could gather from the records. How are the Food Regulations suiting you? Judging from your last letter I'm afraid you are not taking enough starch. Of course I know it's gone up fearfully in price lately. Personally I've taken to wearing soft collars. Your affectionate Cousin, H.F. Aren't you pleased that potatoes have come in again? (Another good thing beginning with a P.) Petherton ground his teeth for a last bout, and bade me come on. SIR (he wrote),--I'm glad you've taken to soft collars. They will suit your soft head. As for food, I'm afraid you're not taking enough arsenic. A slight touch of relationship to my family has evidently turned your brain. I cannot say how sorry I am that you should have discovered the one flaw in my pedigree. Yours faithfully, FREDERICK PETHERTON. I gave him one last little tweak under the ribs:-- DEAR OLD BOY,--Just a hurried line to say that all is forgiven and forgotten. The family feud (there must have been one, I'm certain) which has kept the Pethertons and the Fordyces apart for the last couple of centuries is a thing of the past, now that we two understand each other so thoroughly. I am only sorry I did not discover the strawberry mark on your left arm earlier, that I might the sooner have subscribed myself. Your long lost HARRY. This either disarmed him or he threw away his weapon in disgust. * * * * * [Illustration: _British Tar_ (_confidentially to lady friend_). "SHE'S SUNK ALL RIGHT."] * * * * * "Other houses have a good many books which have come down from posterity, mostly in odd volumes."--_"Claudius Clear" in "The British Weekly."_ Some of those that we bequeath to our ancestors will be quite as odd. * * * * * It is rumoured that during the period of food-control a well-known Soho restaurant intends to change its name to the "Rhondda-vous." * * * * * [Illustration: _Busy City-man to his Partner_ (_as one of the new air-raid warnings gets to work_). "IF YOU'LL LEAVE ME IN HERE FOR THE WARNINGS I'LL CARRY ON WHILE YOU TAKE SHELTER DURING THE RAIDS."] * * * * * THE LITTLE THINGS. I used to be a peaceful chap as didn't ask for trouble, An' as for rows an' fightin', why, I'd mostly rather not, But now I'd charge an army single-'anded at the double, An' it's all along o' little things I've learned to feel so 'ot.