"Charlie D. (Westminster).--We answer you in the words of Cassius, 'A plague of both your houses.'"--_Town Topics_. Were not the words those of _Mercutio_ when he had failed to set up a Business Government in Verona? * * * * * "Apply weed-killers to garden walks and drives, using every precaution against domestic fowls and other bird-eating worms."--_Irish Gardening_. Very careless of St. Patrick to leave these ornithophagous reptiles at large. * * * * * "Wanted, Few Men to travel with Hobby Horses.--Apply Murphy's Steam Galloping Horses, Abbeyleix, Queen's Co."--_Irish Independent_. Now we understand Mr. Ginnell's sudden decision to quit Westminster. * * * * * THE TAP-ROOM. Our Reserve Battalion has a billiard-room, which is well patronised by all those cheerful souls who have escaped from France without permanent injury and resignedly await the second call. To-night the "Tap-room" is in top form. A four-handed game of snooker is in as rapid progress as is reasonably possible. Every easy-chair is filled with a would-be player offering gratuitous advice in order to speed things up. A young war-scarred Captain is balanced on a rickety side-table, offering odds on the game in a raucous voice. The Mess-waiter strives to be in three places at once. Through all, the players, totally unnerved, play with a desperate attempt at concentration. Suddenly the door opens, and the Colonel enters, heated and out of breath. His eye pierces through the tobacco smoke and transfixes the unhappy bookmaker. He requests him to take advantage of his position to open a window. The players examine the tips of their cues in sudden silence. The Colonel refuses the offer of six vacated chairs with a slightly impatient negative and inquires as to the probable length of the game. He accepts the obvious untruth that it has just ended, smiles with satisfaction, and proposes to the Adjutant a game of one hundred up. The Colonel, after examining the cues with marked disapproval, eventually selects one of short length and pronounced weight. He then appropriates for his sole personal use the only piece of chalk, demands the spot ball, places it in position, and endeavours to cast his opponent's ball into a baulk pocket with a rapid back-hander. The Adjutant sprints round the table in pursuit. The Colonel next addresses his own ball and propels it violently against the red, which, taken completely by surprise, bounds with a strong resilience from the top cushion, courses twice up and down the table and comes to a pause in the neighbourhood of the middle pocket. The Colonel tests the elasticity of the cushion with his thumb and gives way a foot to enable his opponent to begin a neat break of twenty-seven.