I demand PIG. PIG is a Machine Gun Company. By breakfast-time I have discovered that PIG has salvaged socks, German, one. I ring up Division ... It is a splendid force, as they used to say in _The Message from Mars_--it is a splendid force, the Signal Service. And men sleeping among the rats in the front line wake for their coffee and hot water and envy me my undisturbed nights. * * * * * [Illustration: _New Tenant_ (_digging up lawn and waste ground, to agent_). "CAN YOU INFORM ME WHERE I CAN FIND THE MAN WHO OWNED THIS PLACE BEFORE ME?" _House Agent_. "ER--HE'S IN FRANCE." _Tenant_. "UM. WELL, I HOPE HE COMES BACK. SAFELY!"] * * * * * "The Vienna _Die Zeit_ considers the political crisis in Germany as one of the chief consequences of the political utterances of English, American and French statesmen, demanding the demoralisation of Germany."--_Sunday Times_. It seems superfluous. * * * * * "It is authoritatively announced that the American troops fighting in France will very shortly receive steel helmets, the design of the helmets being very similar to those worn by the French and British forces, but bearing, as insignia, the United States coat of mail."--_Daily Graphic_. Head-protection is very necessary, but isn't this rather overdoing it?