Cook ceased to struggle for a moment, but only through exhaustion; for when Sister seized the opportunity to repeat her advice a fresh paroxysm came on, and everybody "stood to" at their posts again. Miss Ropes conceived the idea of attaching a cord to Cook's armpits and hauling her up again by main force. She dashed into the house, and found a demoralised kitchen-maid calling incoherently for help down the telephone. Meanwhile Cook had had her worst spasm. We hung grimly on to the chute, dismally confident that something would have to give way soon. Suddenly there was a rending sound; the seam of the canvas ripped open and a gaping slit appeared, through which Cook's freed arm flapped wildly. Then the arm disappeared as the body to which it was attached gathered momentum; and when Miss Ropes appeared with a length of cord she was just in time to see her retainer return to the world--alive, but practically inside out. As soon as Cook recovered her breath it was apparent that her temper was no longer placid. Forgetting entirely that it was by her own choice that she had made the trip, she gave us all to understand that she believed the whole incident to have been specially arranged for her humiliation. She gave notice on the spot, and staggered indignantly to the house to pack her box, leaving her employer once again face to face with the Servant Problem. * * * * * THE ARTISETTE. (_An Engineering School for Women has been started in Scotland._) What if my lady should appear In a mechanic's grimy gear? I shall not squeamishly decline To figure at her shrine. If Vulcan's smoky sway precludes An assignation in the woods, I shall not linger less elate Outside the foundry gate. When she knocks off at eventide I'll flutter fondly to her side, And demonstrate that grease and oil Can't loosen love's sweet coil. Most tenderly my tongue shall wag To Amaryllis on the slag, Whilst I endeavour to confine Her horny hand in mine. * * * * * PERSONAL. "Pat. Don't be disappointed. Nothing amis. Iris."--_Calcutta Statesman_. Only a letter gone astray. * * * * * "Apartments (furnished and unfurnished) to be let, outside air radius."--_Daily Telegraph_. A little suffocating, perhaps. * * * * * "If a million quarter acres in the country were left uncultivated, the result would be that a quarter of a million acres would be left uncultivated."--_Scotch Paper_. Examined and found correct. * * * * * Extract from a speech by Lord SELBORNE:-- "In that ouse Capital was very fully represented--he thought over-represented."--_Daily Telegraph_. The printer seems to have thought so too, when he cut the capital out. * * * * * [Illustration: THE HIGHWAYMAN. "TAXI! TAXI!"