A certain number of cold storage eggs at sixpence each are being released in Berlin and buyers are urged to "fetch them promptly." In this connection several Iron Crosses have already been awarded for acts of distinguished bravery by civilians. *** One of the new toys for Christmas is a cat which will swim about in a bath. If only the household cat could learn to swim it might be the means of saving several of its lives. *** A correspondent would like to know whether the naval surgeon who recently described in _The Lancet_ how he raised "hypnotic blisters" by suggestion received his tuition from one of our University riverside coaches. *** We are asked to deny the rumour that Mr. JUSTICE DARLING, who last week cracked a joke which was not understood by some American soldiers, has decided to do it all over again. *** The power of music! An enterprising firm of manufacturers offers pensions to women who become widows after the purchase of a piano on the instalment plan. *** We understand that a Member of Parliament will shortly ask for a day to be set aside to inquire into the conduct of Mr. PHILIP SNOWDEN, who is reported to have recently shown marked pro-British tendencies. *** In view of the attitude taken up by _The Daily Express_ against Sir ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE, on the question of "spooks," we understand that the celebrated author, who has long contemplated the final death of _Sherlock Holmes_, has arranged that the famous detective shall one day be found dead with a copy of _The Daily Express_ in his hand. *** A customer, we are told, may take his own buns into a public eating-house, but the proprietor must register them. In view of the growing habit of pinching food, the pre-war custom of chaining them to the umbrella-stand is no longer regarded as safe. * * * * * [Illustration: THE QUESTION OF THE HOUR. [Sign before church with bomb-damaged steeple:] THE REV SULVANUS JONES WILL PREACH NEXT SUNDAY MORNING ON WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE CHURCH?] * * * * * INDIA MOVES. DEAR MR. PUNCH,--The following is taken from a letter from the Quartermaster-General in India to the General Officers Commanding Divisions and Independent Brigades:-- "I am directed to point out that at present there appears to be considerable diversity of opinion regarding the number of buttons, and the method of placing the same on mattresses in use in hospitals. "I am therefore to request that in future all hospital mattresses should be made up with fifty-three buttons placed in fifteen rows of four and three alternately." This should convince your readers that even India has at last grasped the idea of the War and is getting a move on. * * * * *