By a large majority the House refused to reinstate the Livery franchise in the City of London. In any case this ancient privilege could not long have survived the curtailment of the Lord Mayor's Feast. * * * * * [Illustration: _The Colonel_. "I'D TAKE ALL THOSE MUTINOUS HOUNDS AND PUT 'EM AGAINST THE WALL." _Aunt Jane_. "BUT, MY DEAR, THE AWFUL THING IS THAT IT HAS SPREAD TO OUR OWN ARMY. I HEARD TWO SOLDIERS IN THE TRAIN TO-DAY TALKING ABOUT THEIR SERGEANT-MAJOR IN A DREADFUL WAY."] * * * * * BOON FOR BUSY BRIDEGROOMS. In these days of military hustle, when a soldier comes home, falls in love, gets engaged, marries, sets up a home, and returns to the Front in less than a week, there is little time for the ordinary courtesies of matrimonial procedure. It is felt, therefore, that the appended printed form of thanks for wedding presents--based on the model of the Field Service Postcard--will prove a great boon to all soldiers who meditate matrimony during short leave. It will be found sufficient merely to strike out inappropriate words in the printed form, which is as follows:-- "Captain and Mrs. ---- beg to return thanks for your _ Beautiful | Charming | Generous | Very generous | Useful | Gift Very Useful |- Cheque More than useful | Letter." Unexpected | Totally unexpected | Remarkable | Artistic | _| _Examples_.--(1) To a rich and miserly uncle, who has come down with an astonishingly handsome sum--strike out everything except "Very generous--more than useful--totally unexpected cheque." (2) To an eccentric former admirer of the bride, who has sent a forty-stanza poem, entitled "Sunset in the White-chapel Road: Thoughts Thereon"--strike out everything except "Remarkable gift." (3) To an enormously wealthy female relative, who disapproves of the bride and has sent a second-hand plated sugar-sifter--strike out everything except "Gift." (4) To anyone of whom much was expected, but who neither gave a present nor wrote--strike out everything on the postcard. * * * * * "Strange Story of a Wedding in the Divorce Court."--_Daily News_. It seems a rather unfortunate choice of _locale_. * * * * * Extract from an Indian begging-letter:-- "My mother is a widow, poor chap, and has a postmortem son." * * * * * "AMATEUR GENT., experienced, wanted, for week at Xmas. All expenses paid." _Daily Telegraph_. Why not have a professional one and do the thing handsomely? * * * * * ONCE UPON A TIME. THE LETTER.