Histrionic effort played no small part in these attempts and led to a good deal of misunderstanding, for he felt it incumbent on him to try his codes in every possible dialect. Instead of the usual cheery "Good morning," a major of a famous Highland regiment was scandalised by an elderly subaltern blethering out, "Cannibal--Custard--Claymore--Caramel," in an abominable Scotch accent. Another day (on receipt of written orders) he was compelled to visit the line to see if things had been built as reported, or, if it was just optimism again. Half-an-hour later a sentry brought him down the trench at the point of the bayonet for muttering as he rounded the traverse, "Galoot--Gunning--Grumble--Grumpy," in pseudo-Wessex. Naturally, to Native Yorkshire this sounded like pure Bosch. Ah! but he won through in the end. The man who has stood five years of unsuccessful story-writing for magazines is not the kind to let himself be beaten easily. There could be no doubt of the final result. When the revised list was issued the response to the inquiry, "Hullo, is that Sink?" was met by a "No, this is Smack," that crashed through the thickest intellect. But vaulting ambition had o'erleapt itself. As a covering note to the new issue he had put up the following letter:-- "Ref. G K etc., etc., of 10th inst. On November 3rd all previous issues of Code Names will be cancelled in favour of the more euphonious nomenclature which is forwarded herewith." A shriek of joy echoed through the corps. "Euphonious!" What a word! What a discovery in a foreign country! The joy of the signal operators, on whom something of the spirit of the old-time bus-drivers has descended, was indescribable. You had only to pick up the receiver at any time and the still small voices of the busy signal world could be heard chortling, "Hullo-oo? Hullo, Euphonious! How's your father? Yes, give me Crump." Or, "No, I can't get the General; he's left his euphonious receiver off." Poor Euphonious (he has never been called by anything else since)--they have threatened to make him O.C. Recreations for Troops. * * * * * [Illustration: BIRDS OF ILL OMEN. MR. PUNCH. "ONLY GOT HIM IN THE TAIL, SIR." THE MAN FROM WHITEHALL. "YES, BUT I MEAN TO GET THE NEXT ONE IN THE NECK."] * * * * * [Illustration: _Mistress_. "I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WHAT YOU CAN TO ECONOMISE THE FOOD." _Cook_. "OH, YES'M. WE'VE PUT THE CAT ON MILK-AN'-WATER."] * * * * * PARS WITH A PUNCH. ALL THE REAL NEWS ABOUT MEN, WOMEN AND THINGS. BY OUR RAMBLING GOSSIP. _(With acknowledgments to some of our contemporaries.)_ _A Long-Felt Want._