A "PUNCH" COT. Some time ago Mr. Punch made an appeal on behalf of the East London Hospital for Children at Shadwell. He has now received a letter from the Chairman, which says: "By a unanimous resolution the Board of Management have desired me to send you an expression of their most grateful thanks for your help, which, it is no exaggeration to say, has saved the Hospital from disaster." He adds that the Board "would like to give a more practical proof of their gratitude," and proposes, as "an abiding memorial," to set aside a Cot in the Hospital, to be called "The Punch Cot." It gives Mr. Punch a very sincere pleasure to convey to those who so generously responded to his appeal this expression of the Board's gratitude, and he begs them also to accept his own. The sum so far contributed by Mr. Punch and his friends amounts to £3,505. * * * * * [Illustration: INTERLUDE. ST. PATRICK, "THAT'S NOT THE WAY I DEALT WITH POISONOUS REPTILES. WHAT'S THE GOOD OF TRYING TO CHARM IT?" MR. LLOYD GEORGE, "I'M NOT TRYING TO CHARM IT. I'M JUST FILLING IN THE TIME."] * * * * * THE RECORDER. [At the concluding session of the Museums Association Conference in Sheffield, Councillor Nuttall, of Southport said it was desirable that every town should make a voice record of every soldier who returned home from the wars, describing his experience in fighting. It would be a valuable record for future generations of the family to know what their ancestor did in the Great War.] In an Expeditionary Force whose vocabulary included several lurid words there was a certain Battalion renowned for the vigour of its language. And in that Battalion Private Thompson held a reputation which was the envy of all. Not only had he a more varied stock of expletives than anyone else, but he seemed to possess a unique gift for welding them into new and wonderful combinations to meet each fresh situation. Moreover he had an insistent manner of delivering them which alone was sufficient to place him in a class by himself. It was not long before many of his friends gave up trying altogether and let Private Thompson do it all for them. It is even rumoured that on occasions men in distant parts of the line would send for him so that he might come and give adequate expression to feelings which they felt to be beyond their range. To show you the extent of his fame, it is only necessary to mention that Lieutenant ---- composed an ode all about Private Thompson and got it published in _Camouflage_, the trench gazette of the Nth Division. Two of the verses went, as far as I can remember, something like this:-- As Private Thompson used to say, He couldn't stand the War; He cursed about it every day And every night he swore; And, while a sense of discipline Carried him on through thick and thin, The mud, the shells, the cold, the din Annoyed him more and more.