How came she there, thus bedizened? Well, her husband, eccentric peer with a priceless collection of snuffboxes and a chronic deficiency of humour, had arranged the little dinner to effect a reconciliation, away from the prying eyes of their set. It was not a success. She felt that she sparkled too much, was piqued, and dismissed her lord. Enter the hypnotic prig, who adroitly conveys her to his headquarters, preaches to her and converts her to the point of surrendering her jewels without a pang, and offering to assist in the lifting of the snuffboxes. I can't say more without endangering the effect of Captain COKE'S ingenious shifts and spoofs. The author seemed to me to tempt Providence by placing his perfervid philanthropist and his serious doctrines against a background of burlesque. But he succeeded in entertaining his audience. Miss LILLAH MCCARTHY, looking her very best as _Lady Fenton_, and Mr. COWLEY WRIGHT, looking quite plausible as the irresistible chief of the General Charities Distribution Bureau, shared the chief honours of the evening. T. * * * * * "The views expressed by Mr. Roosevelt are crystallising everywhere, and are bearing excellent fruit."--_Daily Paper._ How does he get his sugar? * * * * * "Two million troubles are now standing to Koslovsky's account in Petrograd banks."--_Rangitikei Advocate (N.Z.)._ We knew conditions were very trying in Russia, but had no idea any one man had such a burden as this. * * * * * RHYMES FOR THE TIMES. There was a false Pasha named BOLO, Who sank in iniquity so low. That the dirtiest work Of the Hun and the Turk Never made him ejaculate _Nolo!_ There was a stout fellow called YAPP, A great Red Triangular chap; Now he's working still harder To stock the State larder, And never has time for a nap. The manners and customs of Clare Have long been admittedly "quare," But the tolerance shown To sedition full-blown Is enough to make CADBURY swear. Politicians unstable and vague May well take example from HAIG, Who talks to the Huns In the voice of his guns Till they dread him far worse than the plague. Renowned for her fine macaroni, And also for Signor MARCONI, Now Italy sends, To enrapture her friends, (And to finish these rhymes), the Caproni. * * * * * MISSING. "He was last seen going over the parapet into the German trenches." What did you find after war's fierce alarms, When the kind earth gave you a resting place, And comforting night gathered you in her arms, With light dew falling on your upturned face? Did your heart beat, remembering what had been? Did you still hear around you, as you lay, The wings of airmen sweeping by unseen, The thunder of the guns at close of day?