Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, October 24, 1917Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, October 24, 1917
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Mrs. M._ Yes; before his time the nobles lived exclusively on cake
and venison, while the peasantry subsisted on herbs and a substance
named woad, which was most injurious to their digestions. ALFRED,
who among his many accomplishments was an expert baker, himself gave
instructions to the wives of the poor, supplied them with flour, the
grinding of which was carried out in mills of his own devising, and
insisted that all loaves should be made of a certain quality and size,
with results most beneficial to the physique of his subjects. The
story of his quarrel with the woman who would insist on baking cakes
illustrates the difficulties he encountered in effecting his reforms.
_Mary._ Was not ALFRED called "England's Darling"?
_Mrs. M._ Yes, my dear, and no wonder. Before his time there were no
proper newspapers, the few issued being of high price and written in
an elaborate style which only appealed to the highly educated. ALFRED
changed all this, and insisted that they should be written in a
"simple, sensuous and passionate style." This was one of the causes of
his falling out with Withsak, who supported the old-fashioned methods,
while ALFRED was in favour of simplicity and brevity. You will find
all this related in the work of Leo Maximus, a learned writer, the
friend and admirer of ALFRED and author of his Life.
_George._ How much I should like to read it.
_Mrs. M._ You would find in it some inspiring and interesting
particulars of ALFRED's conversations and private life.
_Mary._ How many things ALFRED did! I cannot think how he found time
for them all.
_Mrs. M._ He found time by never wasting it. One-third of his time
he devoted to religious exercises and to study, another third to
sleep and necessary refreshment, and the other to the affairs of his
kingdom. The benefits he bestowed on his country were so great and
various that even to this day we hardly comprehend them fully, and
some ungrateful people refuse to regard them as benefits at all.
_Richard._ How sad! But thanks to you, dear Mamma, we know better.
When Papa comes in to tea I will ask him when he thinks I shall be old
enough to read all the books that have ever been written about KING
ALFRED. I want to know everything about him.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Mother (to curate)._ "AND DO YOU REALLY PRAY FOR YOUR
ENEMIES?"
_Ethel (overhearing)._ "I DO, MUMMY."
_Curate._ "AND WHAT DO YOU SAY IN YOUR PRAYER, MY CHILD?"
_Ethel._ "I PRAY THAT THEY MAY BE BEATEN."]
* * * * *
IL FLAUTO MAGICO.
"The Lord Mayor formally declared the aerodrome opened, and turned
on the flute diverting the waters of the Cardinal Wolsey river
underground."--_Evening News_.
* * * * *
From an interview with Lord ROBERT CECIL, as reported by _The
Manchester Guardian_:--
"It is literally true of the British soldier that he is _tans peur
et tans rapproche_."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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