_The Kaiser_. Very well. Only you must put in that bit about my being actuated by the highest and most disinterested motives. _The Tsar_. That applies to all of us. _The Sultan_. Umph. _The Tsar_. Again he agrees. Isn't it wonderful? I've never met a more accommodating ally. It's a real pleasure to work with him. Now then, we're all quite sure, aren't we, that we really want to go on with the War, and that we utterly reject all peace-talk? _The Kaiser_. Utterly--but if they come and _sue_ to us for peace we might graciously consider their offer. _The Tsar_. That means nothing, of course, so there's no harm in putting it in. At any rate it will please the POPE. We're quite sure, then, that we want to go on with the War? Of course I'm heart and soul for going on with it to the last gasp, but I cannot help pointing out that at present Bulgaria has got all she wants, and my people are very fond of peace. _The Sultan_. Umph. _The Tsar_. He knows that is so. He's very fond of peace himself. You see he hasn't had much luck in the War, have you, MEHMED? _The Sultan_. The English-- _The Tsar_. Quite true; the English are an accursed race. _The Sultan_. The English have a lot of-- _The Kaiser_. A lot of vices? I should think they have. _The Sultan (persisting)_. The English have a lot of men and guns. _The Tsar_. Well done, old friend; you've got it off your chest at last. I hope you're happy now. But, as to this peace of ours, can't something be done? I always say it's a great thing to know when to stop. So it might be as well to talk about peace, even if your talk means nothing. In any case, I tell you frankly, I want peace. _The Kaiser_. FERDINAND! _The Tsar_. Oh, it's no use to glare at me like that. If it comes to glaring I can do a bit in that line myself. _The Sultan_. The Americans-- _The Kaiser_ \ _(together)_. _The Tsar_ / Oh, curse the Americans! * * * * * [Illustration: _Postlethwaite (keenly appreciative of hum of Gotha overhead)._ "LISTEN, AGATHA! EXACTLY B FLAT." {_Strikes note to establish accuracy of his ear._}] * * * * * STANZAS ON TEA SHORTAGE. [Mr. M. GRIEVE, writing from "The Whins," Chalfont St. Peter, in _The Daily Mail_ of the 12th inst., suggests herb-teas to meet the shortage, as being far the most healthful substitutes. "They can also," he says, "be blended and arranged to suit the gastric idiosyncrasies of the individual consumer. A few of them are agrimony, comfrey, dandelion, camomile, woodruff, marjoram, hyssop, sage, horehound, tansy, thyme, rosemary, stinging-nettle and raspberry."]