(1) I make all Laws alone and nobody with me interfere must. (2) When a Man or Frau or Child a mile from me laughs it is as when into my All-Highest Face gelaughed is and the Strafe shall the Death be. (3) Who me sees shall flat on the Earth fall and shall him there until I my gracious Hand wave keep. (4) The German Sprache shall the Britisch Folk's Sprache be and every Englisch Man who German not sprech kann shall with a by-Proclamation-to-be-declared-Strafe gestrafed be. (5) German at the Table Manners shall by all Britisch Childer gelernt be. (6) Everyone shall German Soldiers salute. If any one misses this to do shall the Soldier the Right have him through the body with a sword to run. (7) Only German Cigars and Tabak shall gesmokt be. (8) The Newspapers shall every day print an Artikel me for my good Heart, my Genius and my Condescension praising. (9) It shall a Picture of me in every House be. * * * * * [Illustration: AN OPEN-AIR VARIETY ENTERTAINMENT AT THE FRONT WITH "OCCASIONAL MUSIC BY THE ANTI-AIRCRAFT SECTION."] * * * * * AT THE PLAY. "THE YELLOW TICKET." If Mr. MICHAEL MORTON doesn't mind my not taking his original play too seriously I don't mind telling him how much I enjoyed it. It is quite a neat example of the shocker--an agreeable form of entertainment for the simple and the jaded. The chief properties are a yellow ticket and a hat-pin. Both belong to the innocent and beautiful Jewish heroine, _Anna Mirol_. It appears that she wanted to leave the pale to go to see her dying father in Petersburg, and the police, who will have their grim joke against a Jewess, offer her "the most powerful passport in Russia"--the yellow ticket of Rahab. She accepts it desperately, and, to escape its horrible obligations, enters an English family as governess, under an assumed name. Here the head of the sinister Okhrana (Secret Police Bureau), a sleek red-haired sensualist, _Baron Stepan Andreyeff_, and a chivalrous but tactless English journalist, _Julian Rolfe_, become acquainted with her. The latter wishes to marry her; the former's intentions are strictly dishonourable, and with the aid of his ubiquitous secret policemen he persecutes her, using his power to set her free from the attentions of his detestable minions for bargaining purposes in a perfectly Hunnish manner. Discreet servants, locked doors, champagne, a perfectly priceless dressing jacket, a sliding panel disclosing a luxuriously appointed bedroom--all these resources are at his disposal. But he reckons without her hatpin, which in the course of his deplorably abrupt attempts at seduction she pushes adroitly into his heart, and next day well-informed St. Petersburg winks discreetly when it learns that the _Baron_ has died after an operation for appendicitis. How that nice young man, _Julian_, is more than a match for the forthright methods of the Okhrana is for you to go and find out.