Another statue has been stolen from Berlin, but Londoners need not be envious. Quite a lot of Americans will be in this country shortly, and it is hoped that their well-known propensity for souvenir-collecting may yet be diverted into useful channels. *** The Midland Dairy Farmers' Association have expressed themselves as satisfied with the prices fixed for Winter milk. In other agricultural quarters this action is regarded as a dangerous precedent, the view being that no farmer should be satisfied about anything. *** "My hopes of fortune have been dispelled by unremunerative Government contracts," said a contractor at the Liverpool Bankruptcy Court. It is good to read for once of the Government getting the best of a bargain. *** "What is a bun?" asked the Willesden magistrate last week; which only shows that with a little practice magistrates will get into the way of doing these things almost as well as the High Court judges. *** The _Frankfurter Zeitung_ declares that "the Germany that President Wilson wants to talk peace with will only be a Germany beaten to its knees." Our own opinion is that it will be a Germany beaten to a frazzle. *** There appears to be a great demand for small second-hand yachts. The fact is connected, in well-informed circles, with the report that _The Daily Mail_ contemplates taking up the anti-submarine question. *** Some solicitors have been helping to run the gas works of a certain Corporation during a strike. While commending this action, we admit that we can conceive of nothing more likely to undermine the resolute patriotism of the man in the street than a gas bill furnished by solicitor. *** Women are formally warned by the Ministry of Munitions against using T.N.T. as a means of acquiring auburn hair. Any important object striking the head--a chimney-pot or a bomb from an enemy aeroplane--would be almost certain to cause an explosion, with possible injury to the scalp. * * * * * [Illustration: "I'M COMING TO YOU WITH 'ARF A TON IN A MINUTE, SO DON'T FRET YOURSELF, OLE PERISCOPE."] * * * * * GERMAN THOROUGHNESS AGAIN. "TO HOLD POTATO CROP. "NEW GERMAN FOOD DICTATOR WILL CONSUME ALL FOOD."--_Victoria Daily Times_. * * * * * "An intelligent postal service has delivered those addressed to 1,000, Upper Grosvenor Street, W. 1, to the Ministry of Good at Grosvenor House."--_Daily Mail_. This is the first we have heard of this Ministry. * * * * * TO THE POTSDAM PACIFIST. Now for the fourth time since you broke your word, And started hacking through, the seasons' cycle Brings Autumn on; the goose, devoted bird, Prepares her shrift against the mass of MICHAEL; Earth takes the dead leaves' stain, And Peace, that hardy annual, sprouts again.