PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 153. SEPTEMBER 5, 1917. CHARIVARIA. The Kaiser has again visited the High Seas Fleet in security at Wilhelmshaven. Enthusiastic applause greeted the brief speech in which he urged them "to stick to it." *** There is no truth in the rumour that one of the recently escaped Huns got away disguised as Mr. RAMSAY MACDONALD. *** Some commotion was caused in the Strand last week when a policeman accused a man of whistling for a taxi-cab. Later, however, the policeman accepted the gentleman's plea that he was not whistling, but that was his natural face. *** From the latest reports from Dover we gather that this year the Channel has decided to swim Great Britain. *** As a result of the excessive rain a nigger troupe at Margate were seen to pale visibly. *** Fortunately for the Americans there is one man who will stand by them in their hour of trouble. According to a Spanish news message Mr. JACK JOHNSON has decided not to return to America. *** Owing to the scarcity of matches we understand that many smokers now adopt the plan of waiting for the fire-engine to turn out and then proceed to the conflagration to get a light. *** A catfish has been caught at Hastings. It died worth a lady's gold bracelet and a small pocket-knife. *** The Norwegian explorer, ROALD AMUNDSEN, is preparing for a trip to the North Pole in 1918. Additional interest now attaches to this spot as being the only territory whose neutrality the Germans have omitted to violate. *** Russian tea is being sold in London at 12s. 7d. a pound. It is remarkable that, with the country in its present disorganised condition, the Russian merchants can still hold their own without the assistance of a Food Controller. *** A room for quick luncheons, not to cost more than 1s. 3d., has been opened in Northumberland Avenue for busy Government officials. It is hoped eventually to provide room to enable a few other people to join the GEDDES family at their mid-day meal. *** KING CONSTANTINE, says a despatch, has rented an expensive villa overlooking Lake Zurich. Just the thing for an ex-pensive monarch. *** We are requested to say that the man named Smith, charged at Bow Police Court the other day, is in no way connected with the other Mr. Smiths. *** At a vegetable show at Godalming, 5,780 dead butterflies were exhibited by children. It is understood that the pacifists are protesting against this encouragement of the martial spirit among the young. *** Considerable annoyance has been caused in Government circles by the announcement that "at last the War Office has been aroused." Officials there, however, deny the accusation. ***