A moving letter was read from Lord BEAVERBROOK, in which the great financier declared that, in arriving at the peerage at the age of thirty-seven, he had found his inability to read HOMER freely in the original no handicap or hindrance. He pointed out the interesting fact that Lord NORTHCLIFFE, who reached a similar elevation at the age of forty, had never composed any Greek iambics, though his literary style was singularly polished. It was felt that any further speeches after this momentous announcement would inevitably partake of the nature of an anti-climax. The Chairman happily interpreted the feeling of the meeting by hurling a copy of _Liddell and Scott_ on the floor of the platform and dancing upon it, and the great assembly soon afterwards dispersed in a mood of solemn exultation to the strains of a Jazz band. As Mr. WELLS observed in a fine phrase, "We have to-day extinguished the lights in the Classical firmament." * * * * * [Illustration: _Demobilised One (to massive lady about to make her exit),_ "EXCUSE ME WOULD YOU MIND TREADING--ACCIDENTAL-LIKE--ON THAT MAN'S TOES? HE USED TO BE MY SERGEANT-MAJOR."] * * * * * THE TENDER-HEARTED BAILIE. "Accused broke down in the dock, and while weeping bitterly the Bailie fined both girls £1 or ten days."--_Edinburgh Evening News_. * * * * * "Lord Burray of Elibank and the Hon. Gideon Murray, M.P., have recently had influenza and bronchitis."--_Scotch Paper_. From internal evidence we gather that his lordship has not yet completely recovered. * * * * * SO SOON FORGOT. [A cinema has been showing a picture of M. PADEREWSKI, bearing the legend, "The new President of Poland: once a world-famed violinist."] The President of POLAND Was born to place and power; Yet, ere he found his mission In filling this position, He was a great musician-- Men say so to this hour. But, dash it! while the whole land Admits his old repute, It wonders, "Did this fellow, At whom Queen's Hall would bellow, Perform upon the 'cello, Or did he play the flute?" The day AUGUSTUS JOHN is Created Duke of Wales, His countrymen will never Stop boasting of how clever He is at Art, whatever (Though Burlington still rails). But one small detail gone is From their forgetful nuts; Their recollection's shady-- Did JOHN'S artistic heyday Mean costumes for _The Lady_ Or things for _Comic Cuts?_ When HALL CAINE rules a nation As Superman of Man, His subjects will assure us In daily dance and chorus: "Ere HALL presided o'er us, Men read him as they ran. For once his circulation Spread over Seven Seas." Yet memory by chance errs In these ecstatic dancers-- Oh, did he edit _Answers_, Or write "Callisthenes"? * * * * * OUR HELPFUL CONTEMPORARIES.