Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, April 30, 1919Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, April 30, 1919
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Stockholm, April 21st._ (From the Special Correspondent of _The Daily
Thrill_.)--An extraordinary incident has come to light here. While the
baggage of Mlle. Orloff, the famous _danseuse_, was being unloaded at
the pier a heavy trunk dropped from the sling and crashed on to the
wharf. Rendered suspicious by the lady's unaccountable agitation,
Customs officers searched the trunk and found at the bottom of it six
hundred million pounds in bank-notes and a Russian named Oilivitch, who
at first claimed to be a scenic artist, but finally admitted that he had
been appointed by Lenin ambassador to the Netherlands. Communication
with Scotland Yard has now established the astounding fact that he is
the Abram Oilivitch who in 1914 kept a fish-and-chips shop in Lower
Tittlebat Street, Houndsditch. Oilivitch first came under suspicion when
it was discovered that Litvinoff had been seen to purchase a haddock at
his shop. He was also known to have contributed eighteen-pence to the
funds of the Union of Democratic Control, but afterwards recovered the
sum, claiming that he had paid it under the erroneous belief that
the Union of Democratic Control was an institution for extending
philanthropy to decaying fishmongers. After disappearing from sight for
a while Oilivitch was next heard of in the Censor's Department, from
which he was removed for suppressing a number of postal orders, but
afterwards reinstated and transferred to the Foreign Office. He left the
Foreign Office in June, 1918, as the result of ill-health, and was given
a passport to Russia, where his medical adviser resided.
_Later_.--It now transpires that Oilivitch was also employed at the
Admiralty, the War Office and the National Liberal Club. It has also
been established that he was born in Düsseldorf and that his real name
is Gustaf Schnapps. He is being detained on suspicion.
_Moscow, April 23rd._ (By special cable to _The Daily Blues_.)--The
situation here, thanks to the preposterous conduct of the Allies,
is desperate. Food is unobtainable and Trotsky has only one pair
of trousers. Unless something is done the Soviet Committee will
disintegrate and chaos ensue. Already grave unrest is manifesting itself
in various parts of the country. Hackoff, the able Minister of Justice
and Sociology, tells me that he has already raised the weekly executions
of bourgeoisie from six to ten thousand, in a desperate endeavour to
prevent disorder on the part of the populace. It is not too late for
the Peace Conference to act. Trotsky admitted to me yesterday that,
on receipt of fifty thousand pounds and a new pair of trousers as a
guarantee of good faith, he would allow the Big Four to present their
case to him. He is firm on the subject of an indemnity and the execution
of Mr. Bottomley. Otherwise he is moderation itself. But the Allies must
act at once. To-morrow will be too late.
ALGOL.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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