"Fined fourteen days' pay," said Chippo; "an' cheap it was at the price. But the financial embarrassment thereby followin' puts me under the necessity of borrowing the loan of a five-spotter." "How did it happen?" said Chris, playing for time. "'Twas this way," said Chippo. "The other night I was walking down the Roo Roobray, thinking out ways of making you chaps more comfortable in the billet, as is my custom. Suddenly out of the gloom there looms a Red Indian in full war-paint. "'Strange,' thinks I. 'Chinks an' Portugoose we expects here, likewise Annamites and Senegalese an' doughboys; but I never heard that the BUFFALO BILL aggregation had taken the war-path.' "He passes, and a little Geisha comes tripping by. I rubs my eyes an' says, 'British Constitootian' correctly; but she was followed by a Gipsy King and a Welsh Witch. Then I sees a masked Toreador coming along, and I decides to arsk him all about it. The language question didn't worry me any. I can pitch the cuffer in any bat from Tamil to Arabic, an' the only chap I couldn't compree was a deaf-an'-dumb man who suffered from St. Vitus' Dance, which made 'im stutter with his fingers. "'Hi, caballero,' says I, 'where's the bull-fight?' "'It isn't a bull-fight, M'sieur,' he replies. 'It's Mi-Carême.' "'If he's an Irishman,' I says, 'I never met him; but if it's a kind of pastry I'll try some.' "Then he shows me a doorway through which they was all entering, and beside it was a big yellow poster which said, '_Mi-Carême. Grand Bal Costume. Cavaliers, 2 francs. Dames, 1 franc 50 centimes.'_ "'I'd love to be a cavalier at two francs a time,' I remarks. 'Besides, I want to make the farther acquaintance of little Perfume of Pineapple Essence who passed by just now.' "'It will be necessary to 'ave a costume, M'sieur,' says Don Rodrigo. "'Trust me,' I answers with dignity; 'I've won diplomas as a fancy-dress architect.' "I goes to my billet and investigates the personal effects of my colleagues. My choice fell on a Cameron kilt, a football jersey and a shrapnel helmet. These I puts into a bundle an' hikes back to the Hall of Dance. "'May I ask what M'sieur represents?' said the doorkeeper as I paid my two francs. "'I haven't started yet,' I answers asperiously. 'I assumes my costume as APPIUS CLAUDIUS in the dressing-room.' "Well, when I'd finished my toilette--regrettin' the while that I hadn't brought a pair of spurs to complete the costume--I entered the ball-room. It was a scene of East-end--I mean Eastern--splendour. Carmens an' Father Timeses, Pierrots an' Pierrettes, Pompadours an' Apaches was gyrating to the soft strains of the orchestra, who perspired at the piano in his shirt-sleeves. "All of a sudden I saw my little Geisha, my Stick of Scented Brilliantine, waltzing with the Toreador, an' my heart started beating holes in my football jersey. When the orchestra stopped playing to light a cigarette I sought her out.