The instructions to NORTHCLIFFE from BONEY, The comments of SHAKSPEARE on SHAW, COLUMBUS'S hints to MARCONI, TOM HUGHES'S to young ALEC WAUGH, Or a letter to cheer her supporter In CHARLOTTE'S own delicate fist, Enclosing her photo to SHORTER-- A letter which does not exist. For relics of _this_ sort I hanker, For these, when they're offered for sale, I will beg overdrafts from my banker And bid on a liberal scale; For the arts of the DOYLES and the LODGES Are bound to contribute new grist To SOTHEBY'S mills and to HODGE'S In the letters which do not exist. * * * * * AN AID TO GENUFLEXION. "The Rev. ----, minister of ---- U.F. Church, was yesterday presented with pulpit robes, hassock, hood and cap by his congregation."--_Scotch Paper_. * * * * * "Schools of cokery are being 'snowed' under with applications,"--_Evening Paper_. We ourselves call almost every day to ask for more cokery. * * * * * [Illustration: _Employer_ (_who has given his foreman a ticket for Pianoforte Recital_). "AND HOW DID YOU ENJOY THE MUSIC LAST NIGHT?" _Foreman_. "I WAS A BIT DISAPPOINTED, SIR. 'E WASN'T 'ARF AS GOOD AS MY YOUNG FLORRIE. WHY, 'E PLAYED THERE FOR CLOSE ON TWO HOURS, AND NEVER ONCE CROSSED 'IS 'ANDS."] * * * * * "BOTCHES." AN APPEAL FOR GOD-PARENTS. For many years the village of Chailey, in Sussex--famous topographically for possessing that conical tree which is said to mark the centre of the county, and for a landmark windmill of dazzling whiteness--has been famous sociologically for its Heritage Craft Schools of crippled boys and girls. Among the ameliorative institutions of this country none has a finer record than these schools, where ever since 1897 the work of converting helplessness into helpfulness has been going bravely on. Entering as complete dependents, the inmates leave fully equipped to earn their living unassisted, the boys chiefly as carpenters, and the girls as needlewomen. In some cases the cures effected have been remarkable. In the late War seven-and-twenty Guild boys fought in the ranks, four of whom were killed and are now proudly commemorated on the wall of the School church.