"Botches," it should be added, is not to be the Home's final name. The final name--something descriptive of the work before it and its ideal of restoration--has yet to be found. Perhaps some of Mr. Punch's readers have suggestions. * * * * * [Illustration: _Lady of the billet_ (_to officer returned from Rugger match on Flanders ground_). "LA, LA! VOUS ÊTES TOMBÉ, M'SIEUR?"] * * * * * "NAVAL SQUADRON IN ROME. ROME, Sunday. The special Brazilian naval squadron, comprising the cruiser Bahia and four destroyers, under the command of Admiral Defrontin, arrived to-day."--_Evening Paper_. Like the British Army, it looks as if the Brazilian Navy can "go anywhere." * * * * * A WASTED TALENT. Fresh knowledge of a varied kind While in the army I acquired, Some useful, which I didn't mind, And much that made me tired; But one result was undesigned; It cost me neither toil nor care: Swiftly and surely, with the ease Of drinking beer or shelling peas, War taught me how to swear. Widely my power was recognised; The hardiest soldier shook like froth, And even mules were paralysed To hear me voice my wrath; Unhappy he and ill-advised Who dared withstand when I reviled; Have I not seen a whole platoon Wilt and grow pale and almost swoon When I was really wild? But now those happy days are past; A mild civilian once again, I dare not even whisper "----!" If something gives me pain; Barred are those curses, surging fast, That swift and stinging repartee; Instead of words that peal and crash I breathe a soft innocuous "Dash!" Or murmur, "Dearie me!" Yet sometimes still, when on the rack And past all due forbearance tried, The ancient fierce desire comes back, I seem to boil inside; And then I take a hefty sack, I place my head within, and thus Loose off, in some secluded niche, A deep, whole-hearted, grateful, rich, Sustained, delirious cuss. * * * * * THE SLUMP IN MONARCHY. From a publisher's advertisement:-- THE PRICE OF A THRONE ----- 1/6 NETT * * * * * "The scratching of the hydroplane Sutnrise for the Atlantic Flight Stakes must tempt her captain to change his name from Sunstedt to Sunsttd."--_Provincial Paper_. We fear the printer did not appreciate the sub-editor's humour. * * * * * "Until they get a barber the Islington Board of Guardians are employing a gardener to do hair-cutting and shaving work in his spare time at a remuneration of 1s. 3d. per hour."--_Daily Express_. But we understand that he is expected to provide his own scythe. * * * * * THE OLD SHIPS.