The sun shone brightly on the car as it retired ignominiously, leaving Nijinsky hot, happy and victorious, presenting arms faithfully to the indignant Great Ones, and silence reigned on the battlefield. He came and spluttered it all out to me afterwards, concluding with "I der-didn't let the ker-company down this time, Sir, der-did I?" and evidently expected a pat on the back for it. Teams of infuriated artillery horses wouldn't drag from me whether he got it or not, but from that day to this he has never looked back. Indeed he has begun to take a pride in his personal appearance and general smartness. I met him yesterday wearing a smile like a slice of melon and with his boots, and buttons glistening in the sunshine. "The General came through to-day, Sir," he said, beaming, "and he her-had a pup-pass all right;" and he strutted on, making strange noises in his throat, which I understand is the Yiddish for being pleased with yourself. L. * * * * * [Illustration: _Alf_. "AIN'T YOU GOIN' TO EAT ANYFINK, 'ERBERT?" _'Erbert_ (_four years in France_). "WELL, MY OLD FAM AIN'T TURNED UP WITH MY BIT OF DAYJERNY."] * * * * * [Illustration: _Visitor to devastated area_. "JOHN CHINAMAN LIKEE MUCHEE DLESSEE ALLEE SAMEE ENGLISH SOLDIER." _Chinese Ganger_. "WELL, SIR, I DON'T CONCERN MYSELF MUCH ABOUT UNIFORM. ACTUALLY I'M A JOURNALIST AND ONLY CAME OUT HERE FOR THE EXPERIENCE."] * * * * * "General wanted; small family; cook wept; wages £18-£20."--_Local Paper_. We confess we should like to know the cause of cook's affliction. Was it jealousy, or onions? * * * * * TO CHLOE, CAUGHT SPRING-CLEANING. Now wherefore should you be dismayed And in confusion fall, Because I spied on you arrayed In cap and overall, And saw you for a moment stand Clenching a duster in your hand? The morning ardour of your face Was like a summer rose; One sooty smudge but seemed to grace The challenge of your nose; The gaudy thing that hid your hair Performed its office with an air. There is a time for stately tire, For frills and furbelows, When dainty humours should inspire Such vanities as those; So for stern hours of high intent Behoves a fit habiliment. Did not those gallants win our pride And heroes stand revealed, Who flung their fineries aside For fashions of the field? I, who have known campaigning too, Salute a kindred soul in you. * * * * * THE OVERLAND ROUTE. "H.M.S. New Zealand, with Admiral Jellicoe on board, arrived at Bombay on March 14, and left for Delhi on the 15th."--_Scots Paper_. * * * * * [Illustration: COMRADES OF THE WAR. "STRAFE ME IF IT AIN'T ME OLD 'ORACE! W'Y, I AIN'T SEEN YER SINCE THAT STUNT RAHND CAMBRAI!"] * * * * *