Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, February 19, 1919 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, February 19, 1919Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, February 19, 1919
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Mr. CLYNES warned the Government against neglecting the legitimate
aspirations of Labour, one of which, he had the courage to affirm, was
access to more and better beer. He also sought a clear statement of
the Government's policy in Russia. This request was repeated by Sir
SAMUEL HOARE, who, having spent a year and a half during the War
in that distracted country, declared that "we must decide between
Bolshevists and anti-Bolshevists." Unfortunately that is exactly what,
according to the PRIME MINISTER's reply, we cannot do. The Allies
are not prepared to intervene in force; they cannot leave Russia to
stew in Her own hell-broth. The proposed Conference is admittedly a
_pis-aller_; and, if it ever meets, no one can feel very hopeful of a
tangible result from the deliberations of the Prinkipotentiaries.
_Thursday, February 13th_.--Labour unrest produced a capital debate,
in which Mr. BRACE, Mr. THOMAS and Mr. SEXTON made excellent speeches
on the one side, and Major TRYON, Mr. REMER (an employer and a
profit-sharer) and Mr. BONAR LAW were equally effective on the other.
Brushing aside minor causes the Leader of the House, in his forthright
manner, said the root of the matter was that "Labour wants a larger
share of the good things which are to be obtained in this world"--not
an unreasonable desire, he indicated, but one which would not be
permanently realised by strikes directed against the whole community.
Mr. SEDDON, of the National Democratic Party, compressed the same
argument into an epigram. If the miners' full demands were conceded
they would have "an El Dorado for one minute and disaster the next."
* * * * *
FROST AND THAW.
I was earlier than usual that morning, which was bad luck, as I
heard Fitz-Jones click his gate behind me and thud after me in his
snow-boots. Fitz-Jones and I had a little disagreement, not long ago,
about the sole possession of a servant-maid. Since then there has
been a coolness. Curiously enough, the hideous frost that raged at the
moment (the thermometer stood at twenty-five degrees in the henhouse)
seemed to thaw Fitz-Jones. And I knew why.
Last summer Fitz-Jones had spent four torrid days with the thermometer
at 75 degrees, winding up his pipes in straw "against" the winter. I
had seen his purple face as I hammocked it with an iced drink. He had
seen and heard me laugh.
"Ah," he croaked, "you may laugh on the other side of the hedge now,
but you'll laugh on the other side of your face later."
So now I knew that he was thudding after me in the snow, bursting to
hear that my pipes had burst or were about to burst.
"Hallo, Browne," he began, "how'd you like this?"
"Oh, all right," I said airily. Here I did a wonderful step. Slide
on the right heel--hesitation shuffle on the left toe--two half
slips sideways. Wave both arms--backward bend. Recover.
Jazz--tangle--tickle-toe was nothing to it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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