An evening paper suggests that the Albert Hall should be purchased by the nation. We understand, however, that our contemporary has been forestalled by a gentleman who has offered to take it on the condition that a bathroom (h. and c.) is added. *** A correspondent writes to a paper to ask if it is necessary to have a licence to play the cornet in the streets. All that is necessary, we understand, is a strong constitution and indomitable pluck. *** We are asked to deny the foolish allegation that several M.P.s only went into Parliament because they couldn't get sleeping accommodation elsewhere. *** In connection with the rush for trains on the Underground, an official is reported to have said that things would be much better if everybody undertook not to travel during the busiest hours. *** An American journal advertises a lighthouse for sale. It is said to be just the thing for tall men in search of a seaside residence. *** The policeman who told the Islington bus-driver to take off his influenza mask is going on as well as can be expected. *** Pwllheli Town Council is reported to have refused the offer of a German gun as a trophy. The Council is apparently piqued because it was not asked in the first instance whether it wanted a war at all. *** All Metropolitan police swords have been called in. We decline to credit the explanation that, in spite of constant practice, members of the force, kept cutting their mouths. *** French politicians are advocating the giving of an additional vote for each child in the family. In France, it will be remembered, the clergy are celibate. *** "We are looking for the ideal omnibus," says an official of the L.G.O.C. We had no idea that they had lost it. Meanwhile their other omnibus continues to cause a good deal of excitement as it flashes by. *** "Buildings occupied by the League of Nations," says _The Daily Mail_, "are to enjoy the benefits of extraterritoriality." It sounds a lot, but we were afraid it was going to be something much more expensive than that. *** "In a month," says a news item, "fourteen abandoned babies have been found in London." Debauched, no doubt, by the movies. * * * * * [Illustration: THE MORNING AFTER THE BURGLARY. "AND HE'S LEFT THE LIGHT ON!"] * * * * * A STRIKING ADVERTISEMENT. "Negib Fahmy, Assistant Goods Manager Egyptian State Railways, was attacked by a discharged railway poster a short time ago."--_Egyptian Gazette_. * * * * * "On Sunday morning the engine of the Paris-Marseilles express on arriving at the Gare de Lyon mounted the platform and only came to a standstill in front of the buffet."--_Times_. Machinery nowadays exhibits almost human intelligence. * * * * *