This isn't a fairy story at all. That's the nicest part about it. It all really happened. And the real name of the Princess--Oh, but I needn't tell you that. _Everybody_ knows who Princess Charming is. R.F. * * * * * [Illustration: _Lieut. X._ (_in Paris for the Peace Conference_). "VOUS FEREZ LE POLISSON AVEC UN PEU DE LINGERIE."] * * * * * Letter received at a Demobilisation office:-- "I have Certified that I Pte. ---- as got Urgent on the LNWR Curzan St goods as also taken a Weeks Notice from Feburary 2nd to 9th to Leave Colours on His Magesties forces and allso beg to Resign. Signed Pte. ----." Private ---- was evidently taking no chances. * * * * * THE 1930 FLYING SCANDAL. _To the Editor of "The Wireless News." 1st June, 1930_. Dear Sir,--I wish to protest through your columns against the outrageous behaviour of the drivers of public air conveyances on the Brighton Front. Yesterday I and other passengers boarded a ramshackle aero-à-banc (the floor of which was covered with musty straw) with the intention of having a "joy-trip" to Rottingdean. The fare was two shillings and sixpence. We had not mounted five hundred feet into the air before the driver yelled to us, "Nah then, another 'arf-a-chrahn all rahnd or I'll loop the loop." We were forced to comply with the demand of this highwayman of the atmospheric thoroughfares; but on alighting I took the first opportunity of giving his number to a policeman. One sighs for the old-fashioned courtesy of the taxi-cab driver of another decade. Yours, etc., CONSTANT READER. * * * * * COMMERCIAL ALTRUISM. "Why not give your jaded palate a new pleasure? 'Impossible!' you say. This is so, if you smoke Our Tobacco, otherwise not nearly so impossible as you think."--_Port Elizabeth Paper_. * * * * * [Illustration: _Farmer_ (_contemplating new hand_). "WELL, AT ALL EVENTS HE DON'T SEEM TO BE INFECTED WITH THIS HERE LABOUR UNREST."] * * * * * THE ARK. [The Dean of LINCOLN is reported to have informed the Lower House of Convocation that he "simply did not believe" in the Biblical episode of the Ark.] The dangerous voyage at length is o'er And she has crossed the oilcloth floor And grounded on the woolly mat, The wooded slopes of Ararat. Upon this lately flooded land It's very difficult to stand The animals in double row, When some have lost a leg or so; A book is best to carry those Who still feel sea-sick in their toes. For NOAH and his sons and wives This is the moment of their lives; They walk together up and down In stiff wide hat and dressing-gown, Well pleased to greet the dove once more, Who landed safe the day before.