"An' China boy gottee lations, blead an' beer, allee same hon'lable officer gottee jug," continued Ah Sin. "Then what more can wantchee?" concluded Dam Li triumphantly. I surrendered unconditionally. * * * * * GOOD-BYE, AUSTRALIANS! Through the Channel's drift and toss Swift your homing transports churn; Soon for you the Southron Cross High above your bows shall burn; Soon beyond the rolling Bight Gleam the Leeuwin's lance of light. Rich reward your hearts shall hold, None less dear if long delayed, For with gifts of wattle-gold Shall your country's debt be paid; From her sunlight's golden store She shall heal your hurts of war. Ere the mantling Channel mist Dim your distant decks and spars, And your flag that victory kissed And Valhalla hung with stars-- Crowd and watch our signal fly: "Gallant hearts, good-bye! _Good-bye_!" W.H.O. * * * * * THE ALIENS IN OUR MIDST. "But most of the people aboard that car, if they had been truthfully outspoken, would probably have said, 'Dem's my sentiments.'"--_Evening Paper_. * * * * * "MARK OF CENTENARIAN. "Mrs. Rachel ----, a former resident of this city, was the guest of honor at a dinner served yesterday at her son's home in Wilkinsburg, the occasion being the 92nd anniversary of her birth. Mrs. ---- was born in Somerset County and resided in this city before the flood."--_American Paper_. At first we thought the headline a little previous, but the last sentence shows that it is, on the contrary, decidedly belated. * * * * * [Illustration: _Indignant Patriot_ (_to Local Food Committee_). "I WISH TO REPORT THAT THERE'S A GROCER IN THIS TOWN WHO IS SELLING BUTTER, SUGAR AND JAM WITHOUT COUPONS. HE--" _Food Committee_ (_as one man, ecstatically_). "WHICH IS HIS SHOP?"] * * * * * SOMETHING LIKE "LITERARY GOSSIP"! Are you not, dear reader, a little tired of what is called "Literary Gossip"? Be frank. Aren't you? And have you not sometimes longed even more to know what the industrious fellows were not writing than what they were? But suppose we could come across an authentic column like this? Mr. KIPLING is putting the finishing touches to a new Jungle book. The first and second Jungle books have waited too long for this new companion; but it is now on its way. A friend of the author, who has been privileged to see an early copy, says that it is full of all the old enchantment. * * * * * Our Burwash correspondent informs us that, not content with the re-incarnation of _Mowgli_, Mr. KIPLING has completed a new romance of wandering life in India, not unlike _Kim_ in treatment, to be entitled _The Great Trunk Road_. * * * * *