"(1) If you put your case into my hands it ceases at once and from that moment to be any concern of your own. You are not entitled, for instance, to express any opinion as to whether you committed the alleged crime or not. That is my affair exclusively. "(2) If however there is anything which lies so heavily on your conscience that it must out sooner or later, let it be later. I am open to receive confessions at any time after proceedings have begun. "If you accept these conditions, good; if not, go." Watson says they always accept them, so he never worries about the General Council of the Bar. * * * * * [Illustration: THE NEW ISSUE. OIL GENIE _(gushingly, to Coal-Owner and Mr. SMILLIE)._ "CAN I DO ANYTHING TO ALLAY THE TROUBLED WATERS?" [The discovery of oil in Derbyshire, which threatens the supremacy of the mining industry, may affect the questions now in dispute before the Coal Commission.] * * * * * [Illustration: _Harassed Mother (having distributed half of her offspring on laps of passengers)._ "COME ON, 'ENERY. SQUEEZE IN SOMEWHERE. 'TAIN'T EXAC'LY 'OW I LOIKES TO TRAVEL, BUT S'POSE WE'LL 'AVE TO PUT UP WITH IT."] * * * * * AN ERROR IN TACTICS. In the heart of the Forêt de Roumare there is a spot called Rond du Chêne à Leu, where eight paths meet. Why they choose to meet there, unless it is for company, one can't imagine. The fact that there is not an estaminet within five kilometres nullifies its value as a military objective. Therefore, having been decoyed thither by a plausible guide-book, it was with surprise that I beheld an ancient representative of the British Army smoking his pipe with the air of having been in possession for centuries. "Bit lonely here," I said. "Rumble's Moor on a wet Friday's busy to it," he said emphatically. "Is it reet the War's over?" "Yes." He puffed his pipe for a few minutes while the information soaked in. "Who won?" "The Peace Conference haven't decided yet." Conversation languished until I remembered the guide-book. "According to tradition," I said, "it was at this identical spot that ROLLO, first Duke of Normandy, hung his golden chain on a sign-post for a whole year without having it stolen." "Tha-at ud be afore we brought our Chinese Labour gang felling timber," he said firmly; "I wudden give it five minutes now." "I understand, too, that there is a historic ruin hereabouts." "Theer was," he said; "but he's in hospital." "What do you mean?" "Ratty Beslow; my owd colleague an' sparring pardner. It's 'im you weer talking of, ain't it?" "It wasn't; but I'm interested in him," I said, sitting down on a pile of logs. "How did he get to hospital?"