"The next night, feeling mighty lonely, Ah walked five kilometres to th' nearest estaminet, the 'Rondyvoo de Chasers,' an' looked upon the _vang_ while it was _rouge_. When I'd done lookin' and started home th' forest looked more gho-ost-like than ever wi' th' young firs bowing an' swaying, and drifts o' cloud peeping through the branches. All at once I heerd a crackling o' twigs like th' night afore, an' then someone stole acrost th' road carrying a rope. "Ah says to myself, 'It's one of th' Chinks poaching, an' it's 'evin 'elp 'im if 'e 's after what Ratty nearly caught last night!' "Seemingly 'e was, for 'e follered th' noise, an' Ah follered 'im--at a safe distance. Then, dimlike an' looming big, Ah saw th' stag, an' the Chink stealing up behind it. "'Tother end, you fool!' I whispered; an' he jumps round to its head, slips th' noose round its neck an' leads if off as quiet as a lamb." "You don't expect me to believe," I broke in indignantly, "that a stag can be led like a poodle on a lead?" "P'r'aps not stags," said the veteran, relighting his pipe. "That's weer Ratty made the mistake that sent 'im to hospital. But you can do it now and then with a transport mule what's broke away, and the Chink done it." * * * * * [Illustration: _Photographer (to Douglas Devereux, the world-famous cinema-actor_). "TIKE YER PHOTO, SIR?"] * * * * * COMMERCIAL CANDOUR. "In reply to your letter to hand, we are very sorry for the delay in sending the Jumper, but the tremendous demand for these has denuded our stock. We are, however, expecting a further delay now in a day or so. Yours obediently, BROTHERS, LTD." * * * * * "The spell of hot weather is causing large numbers of the public to migrate to the Kent coast. Thanet, owing to greatly improved travelling facilities, is being specially flavoured. The public well know the magical properties of Thanet air."--_Evening Paper_. Then why bother about flavouring it? * * * * * "The Food Controller announced that canned salmon is now free of control, and that chocolates and other sweetmeats will be freed on July 1. He also intimates that canned salmon is now free of control, and that chocolates and other sweetmeats will be freed on July 1."--_Daily Paper_. We hope he will say it once more, on the Bellman's principle that "what I tell you three times is true." * * * * * [Illustration: _Chorus of children (to parent, late Lieut-Col. R.F.A., D.S.O., M.C. and Bar_). "DON'T BE FRIGHTENED, DADDY; SHE'LL ONLY PECK YOUR LEGS."] * * * * * HINTS ON SELECTING AN AEROPLANE.