But the German, seeing nought, Only hearing what he thought Must be twelve-inch guns at least Firing at him from the East, Felt that it was time to hook it, Saw his chance and boldly took it. Northward fast he sailed once more Till he heard the _Lion_ roar, And before he could retreat he Found himself engaged with BEATTY, Who, as you already know, Led him on to JELLICOE. There I leave him, for, you see, All the rest is history. _All_ the rest? Well, not quite all; For perhaps you may recall How, when night was falling fast, A reverberating blast Far away was dimly heard Which, the sailormen averred, Was the Germans who had strayed In amongst the mines we laid. They were wrong. The fighting over, Johnny's ship returned to Dover, And the sound they heard afar Was the jocund voice of Carr Singing fit to burst his torso, Like the song-thrush (only more so). * * * * * "ROYAL ARMY MEDICAL CORPS FUND.--At the Savoy Hotel, on June 11, at 8 p.m. Service dress--khaki with trousers--or evening dress, with miniatures."--_Times._ The price of clothes was bound to lead to something of this sort. * * * * * From an article on "The Representative Man":-- "Gladstone and John Bright alike came out of Lancashire. How natural to fmgeine etther of those startling ogposites proclaiming with entire conviction, that when he samped himself he foundthimself to be a 'Typical Englishman.' The diversity of types however does not help us much."--_Indian Paper_. True, we find it most confusing. * * * * * [Illustration: IN THE SUBSCRIPTION LISTS. SAINT GEORGE COLLECTS FOR MERRIE ENGLAND.] * * * * * THE PUFF UNIVERSAL. ["A Father," writing in _The Times_ of June 10th, protests vigorously against the cult of "powdered noses."] When the deadly sky-rover Came frequently over And London was darkened at night, Girls powdered their noses (Or so one supposes) As lamp-posts were painted with white; But now when full moons Bring no bombs or maroons, I ask is it proper or right? Amanda's complexion Will challenge inspection-- 'Tis healthy and rosy and fine; But she says that if powder Were never allowed her Her nose would infallibly shine. Did Victorian Flossie Or Gladys, when glossy Of nose, to such methods incline? No, they patiently scrubbed it, Rough-towelled and rubbed it Until it was brought into line. We have long been acquainted With ladies who painted To mimic a juvenile mien; But I'd ban _sans_ compassion The powdering fashion When practised by sweet seventeen; And I wish that wise mothers And sensible brothers Would let their abhorrence be seen.