A statistical expert has estimated that if all the questions asked by Mr. SMILLIE at the Coal Commission's sittings were placed one before the other they would lead to nowhere. *** Over one hundred posters illustrating the danger of house-flies have been exhibited in the Enfield district. It is doubtful whether this will have the desired effect, for it is well known that flies cannot read. *** The price of a first-class interment, says a contemporary, has risen from £3 18s 0d. to £5 15s. 0d. The result is that many people have decided to try to do without one this year. *** The arrival in England of a rare mosquito is reported by the South-Eastern Union of Scientific Societies. It seems that the insect had worked its passage to the British Museum. We think that a sharper look-out should be kept on mosquitoes arriving at our ports. *** A painful episode is reported from Yarmouth. It appears that a visitor, desirous of taking home a souvenir of his holiday, thoughtlessly filled a bottle with sea water at low tide, with the result that just before high tide the bottle burst, inflicting serious injuries on the passengers in the railway carriage in which he was travelling. *** Out of nine applicants for the post of Language Master at a well-known Public school, eight were proficient in at least five languages. However, as the ninth man proved to be an ex-Sergeant-Major, the eight immediately retired in his favour. *** We now hear that the question regarding the possession of Kladizatiffagtaliofatoffka, in Poland, which has caused so much of the delay at the Peace Conference, has been satisfactorily settled. The four Big Powers are to have a couple of syllables each and the remaining three will be raffled for. *** On account of the large number of robberies of safes that have taken place in London during the last few weeks it is possible that an effort will shortly be made to do away with these cumbersome articles in order to stamp out the epidemic. *** The bacteriologist of the Oyster Merchants' and Planters' Association claims to have discovered a means of purifying polluted mussels. To ascertain if a mussel requires to be purified examine the whites of its eyes. *** Newspapers have appeared again in Buenos Ayres. No other troubles are anticipated. * * * * * [Illustration: "I'VE CALLED TO SEE IF YOU COULD MAKE A MINATURE OF ME."] * * * * * AMERICA AND SINN FEIN. [Being a Republican's apology for the recent anti-British agitation in the States.] Oh, never let it mar the mutual love, That now unites us eye to eye, If, superficially, we seem to shove Our fingers in your Irish pie-- An action which, if you should so behave, Would make old MONROE wriggle in his grave.