Mélisande is a staid creature of placid demeanour and generous proportions. It had never occurred to me hitherto to associate her with rabies, and I still felt that she herself would scoff at the idea. We were gathered round the fire, my wife, my daughter and I; Angela seated on what is known, I believe, in upholstering circles as a humpty, while Peggy lay on her tummy on the floor, pencil in hand and a sheet of paper before her; she was chewing the pencil with the ruminating air of one who awaits inspiration. I myself occupied the armchair. "You know," said Angela presently, "I think Mélisande has seemed worried about something the last few days. I do hope the poor dear isn't bothering about rabies. One so often hears of people actually producing a disease merely by thinking a lot about it. By the way, I'm told that one of the earliest manifestations of rabies is a desire to bite inanimate objects; if we see her doing that we shall know that the time has come to act." At this juncture Mélisande entered the room through the open window. Her manner exhibited a curious blend of dignity and caution; I could more readily have suspected my own mother of having rabies. She advanced slowly towards us till suddenly her eye lighted on Peggy, who still chewed her pencil awaiting inspiration. Mélisande stopped as though she had been shot; I could only surmise that the sight of Peggy thus occupied had confirmed her darkest suspicions. With one wild shriek of terror she fled from the room. * * * * * THE NEGLECTED PROBLEM. O dear and delectable journal that daily Appeasest my hungering mind With items recounted or gravely or gaily Of doings at Margate, Mayfair or Old Bailey, Or paragraphs rare and refined On "Who will the forthcoming cinema star be?" "What horse to support with your shirt for the Derby;" "How much will the next price of beer at the bar be?" "Are halibuts blind?" A question arises I prithee examine And ponder the pull that it has Over headings like "Foch and Parisian Gamine," "Are Bolshevists _really_ believers in Famine?" Or "Vocalist Lynched at La Paz." I look for it oft and in vain and say, "Blow it! There _must_ be an answer and England should know it." Here, then, is the problem that's haunting the poet: _Does Germany Jazz_? * * * * * "William Henry ----, aged 110, fell off a tree whilst out playing with other boys and broke his right leg."--_Provincial Paper_. We hope it will be a lesson to him for the rest of his life. * * * * * [Illustration: _Gentle Creature (who fancies she has heard the customary sound of her cat tapping at the window to be let in)._ "NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY ADOLPHUS! COME IN AT ONCE, LIKE A GOOD BOY!"] * * * * * BIRD NOTES.