Seated in a distant clearing. He remarked the natives cheering, And, directed by the din, Saw the plight his mates were in. When he thought the time was ripe, Clad in little but his stripe 'Erbert charged.... The tribes in wonder Promptly bolted with the plunder. 'Erbert with averted head Quickly gathered every shred Of his late-lamented kit, Saying, as he handed it To the Major, "I infer You have lost your breeches, Sir." With his glasses in his hands On his deck the Captain stands, Watching with surprise and fear His detachment reappear-- First the Major, garbed in dirt And the tail of 'Erbert's shirt; Then the Sergeant, better dressed In the sleeves of 'Erbert's vest; Then the rest in fragments torn From the jumper he had worn. Last comes 'Erbert, proud as NELSON, With a smile and nothing else on. Is it Fortune's final stroke, Or the Skipper's little joke? As the ladder they ascend Comes the bugle "Make and Mend." * * * * * "A flotilla of Portuguese warships is actively maintaining the blockade between the mouth of the Volga and that of the Minho." _Daily Paper_. The report that the Bolshevists have borrowed a "Big Bertha" and are meditating a bombardment of Lisbon by way of reprisal is as yet unconfirmed. * * * * * "Mr. W.A. Appleton, secretary of the Feedration of Trade Unions, declares that since the Armistice the federation 'has lost no opportunity of endeavouring to smash the controls that meant continued high prices (of food)."--_Evening Paper_. More power to the "Feedration" in its self-sacrificing campaign. * * * * * [Illustration: THE GUEST WHO BROUGHT A BANJO.] * * * * * [Illustration: "THERE'S A BIT OF A FINANCIAL CRISIS ON AT THE PRESENT MOMENT. I BLEW INTO COX'S ON THE WAY HERE, ON THE OFF CHANCE, BUT--NOTHING DOING!" "I S'POSE YOUR OVERDRAFT BLEW YOU OUT AGAIN--WHAT?"] * * * * * THE RIGHTS OF LABOUR. _(Extract from "The Times and Mail" of January 1st, 1925.)_ A significant case was heard yesterday in the courts, when William Blogg, bricklayer's labourer, recovered twenty-five pounds damages from James Buskin Carruthers, artist, for injury done to the plaintiff's eight-cylinder car through defendant's culpable negligence in allowing himself to be run over by it. Plaintiff urged that he was a labouring-man, who worked eight hours a day. The court was at once adjourned, while restoratives were applied to the Bench.