PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 156. May 21, 1919. CHARIVARIA. "We thought it was to be a _Peace_ Conference," remarks the _Berliner Tageblatt_ sadly. Instead of which it turned out to be another Diet of Worms. *** "Wanted a Dock Examiner," says a technical paper advertisement. Now if they had only wanted a Duke examiner we have the very man in mind. *** Several correspondents have written to _The Daily Express_ asking whether it is not unlucky to be married on a Friday. Our own experience is that it doesn't make much difference which day it is. *** We learn on good authority that an airman recently flew from Newfoundland to the English coast, but immediately returned as he considered that the weather was unfavourable for landing. As the whole affair appears to have been hushed up it is thought that he was of American nationality. *** "A seasonable dish," says _Household Hints_, "is _crab au gratis_." We can only say that in our own experience it never seems to be in season at the smartest restaurants. *** An American Army doctor has discovered that sea-sickness originates in the ears. This confirms the old theory that persons who sleep with both ears pressed against the pillow are never sea-sick. *** Presents given prior to engagements, says Judge CLUER, are in the nature of bait and cannot be recovered. Once the angler is safely hooked a different situation arises. *** "I am confident," writes "J.E.P." in _The Daily Mail_, "that nineteen out of twenty men do not know what they should do on being bitten by a mad dog." The common practice of trying to bite the dog back is admittedly inadequate. *** The London County Council have decided not to remove the marks of damage done by aircraft to the base of Cleopatra's Needle. It seems that they have also had to refuse the request of some curio-hunters who asked if they might have the indentations as mementos. *** Owing to the inflated price of silver, a contemporary points out, the shilling now contains only ten-pence half-penny worth of silver. More important however is the fact that, owing to the inflated cheek of dairymen, it only contains three pennyworth of milk. *** "Singing," says Dr. HENRY COWARD, "is a valuable preventive against influenza." It is also known that certain streptococci have an intense dislike to the trombone. *** The parishioners of All Saints' Church, South Acton, are invited by the clergy to say what they would like to be preached to about. The little boy who wrote that he would like a sermon on the proper way to feed white rats is still hopeful. *** It appears that a Wallasey licensee, in order to satisfy his customers, sent a sample of Government ale to be analysed. We understand that the analyst reported that there was nothing in it. ***