_Sir Gladney Jebb_. Do you not think that if all compositions were written in the key of C it would materially conduce to the greatest happiness of the greatest number?--The President has already deprecated the multiplication of hypothetical questions, which have reached a total of more than fifteen thousand. _Viscount Vermicelli_. Do you think that the unrestrained performance of Jazz-music conduces to the moral betterment of the simian proletariat?--That seems to me to be a question which bears on the administration of the Unnecessary Noises Act. Are you in favour of the establishment of a Ministry for the Control of Syncopation?--No; but I would cordially support a Bill for the Compulsory Segregation of Irresponsible Collectivists. In reply to Mr. Moody MacTear, Sir Mark Holloway said that he had never been down a coal-mine, but that he had a few shares in a gold-mine, which had cost him five pounds a-piece, but had never borne any dividends and were now quoted at one-and-sixpence. The next witness, Dame Frisca, the famous Californian singer, was subjected to a remarkably severe examination by Mr. Moody MacTear. _Mr. Moody MacTear_. Do you consider that the assumption of the title _prima donna_ is compatible with democratic principles?--I never assumed it; it was bestowed on me by the free suffrages of the musical world. _Mr. MacTear_. Then you admit that you possess it. Are you prepared to submit proof of your title to the Commission?--Certainly; but it would probably mean bringing forty van-loads of press-cuttings and cause considerable congestion of traffic. _Mr. MacTear_. Is it not the case that the _prima donna_ has been condemned by the best musical critics as an obsolete anachronism, tending to perpetuate the abuses of the "star" system and to foster breaches of the Decalogue and to enhance the soloist at the expense of the chorus?--I believe that WAGNER held the view expressed in the opening part of your question, but he was unable to get on without her, wrote a famous address to the Star of Eve, and gave the chorus practically nothing to do in many of his operas. _Mr. MacTear_. Is it not the case that the operatic tenor has been pronounced on good authority to be not a man but a disease?--The authority was a German conductor, who was presumably speaking of German tenors. _Mr. MacTear_. Have you ever been down a coal-mine?--No; but I was presented with a diamond brooch by the diggers of Kimberley. * * * * * BAKERLOONACY. This is a song of the Tube-- Let us begin it By cursing the furies who fight and who bite ev'ry night To get in it; The folk who see red and who tread on the dead And climb over the slain, And who step on your face in the race for a place In the train.