Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, May 21, 1919Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, May 21, 1919
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Next day he called again with one of his subalterns, a creature called
Gubson, who went down to the river to watch Simmonds fish. When he had
gone Chaucer told me he had a spare hut.
"Not one of these divisional huts, but a thing we knocked up
ourselves. We've nearly finished our job here, and if it's any use to
you you can have it. But mind you, I know nothing about this other hut
you've got here. If you're caught with that one your blood be on your
own head."
"You're a Christian," I told him, and, Gubson and Simmonds returning,
the conference had a drink and adjourned.
Next day I found quite a squad of light-duty men, and sent 'em to
dismantle and bring down Chaucer's hut. I admit they rather exceeded
instructions, for they brought a lot of things that Chaucer had
omitted to mention. However, they said he was there when they took
them, so I supposed it was all right. Besides the hut they had two
bell-tents, a big tarpaulin, some corrugated iron and expanded metal,
some home-made chairs and tables, a water-tank and a field kitchen,
with its wheels broken off--a noble lot of loot it was. They worked
like beavers bringing it down and getting it in place, and when
Chaucer drifted down again at the end of the week all my men were
housed there as snug as you please. Finally Gubson presented the camp
with a punt he had salved in Sailly village--and there we were, all
the pleasures of the Riviera and none of the disreputable company.
We were so pleased with all they had done for us that we suggested
they should stay the night and celebrate the occasion. Chaucer said
he would be delighted, if we would send to his batman and tell him
to bring down his razor and toothbrush. At midnight, when the batman
arrived, Chaucer said it was time for bed. And could we give his man
a shake-down, please? It was pretty dark, he said, and the fool might
lose his way home.
That should have warned me. Chaucer wasn't the man to keep a batman
who was a fool.
It must have been about 3 A.M. when I was waked by my man helping
Chaucer dress.
"What's the matter?"
"Your fellow says my man's ill."
"What is it?"
"I dunno, Sir," my man said. "'E 's groanin' an' rollin' about an'
keepin' all us others awake."
When I got to the men's hut I found Chaucer kneeling beside the sick
man, who was holding his head and groaning. All the other men were
sitting up and looking on. After a minute or two Chaucer got up and
beckoned me outside.
"Look here," he said, "I don't want to scare you, but suppose that
chap's got anything infectious. Is there a doctor handy?
"Nowhere nearer than Sailly."
"Well, Gubson tells me they were expecting the M.O. at our camp today.
He may have stayed the night. Can you send somebody up to see?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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