Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, May 21, 1919Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, May 21, 1919
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Being used to Frederick I do not take him too seriously and made no
reply, intending to brush the incident aside, but I found my gaze
continually returning to Coleopteron, conscious of that peculiar
fascination which attracts one to impending tragedy. It was evident
that he had just left the café and was hurrying across the promenade
to catch the little steamer which was due to leave in ten minutes for
Ofen. It was also evident to any thinking individual that there must
be some extraordinarily urgent reason for his wishing to catch the
boat which justified him in taking the awful risks which he was
incurring. The position was full of human interest and I became as
intrigued as Frederick.
It seemed that Coleopteron was under some divine protection which
enabled him to elude so large a crowd. One lady stepped right on him,
but apparently, by a piece of brilliant footwork, he managed to get
in the arch between the sole and the heel and so survive. Another
promenader brushed him with his boot and knocked him over, but he
doggedly continued on his way.
I was conscious of a greatly accelerated beating of my heart and
noticed that Frederick was perspiring freely.
Half-way across the twenty-foot pavement Coleopteron was sniffed at
by a dog and our hearts stopped beating, but again he was saved by
the fact that the dog was on a chain and just hadn't time to eat him
before he was dragged after his mistress.
I noticed now that Frederick's eyes were protruding from his head and
that he was muttering to himself. I too felt the strain telling upon
me, A shrill whistle from the little steamer warning passengers to
hurry up was immediately responded to by Coleopteron, who increased
his speed to the utmost, when suddenly Frederick's trembling hand
caught mine.
"Look!" he said, and, following his gaze, I saw approaching twelve
gendarmes. We did not speak; we did not need to invite each other's
views; our minds had but a single thought--Coleopteron could not
possibly escape twenty-four Hungarian Government boots.
On scurried our little friend and on came the gendarmes. I was
conscious of a feeling of physical sickness, and Frederick groaned
aloud. As the dreadful moment of contact approached we shut our eyes
tight and each gripped the other's hand. How long we remained like
this I cannot tell, for we were both afraid to look and see the my
smudge on the pavement indicating a hero's end; but eventually, by
mutual arrangement, we opened our eyes, and then we saw--not a smudge,
but Coleopteron still advancing quite unconcerned. It was a miracle.
"I can't stand it any longer," cried Frederick, to the amazement
of those sitting about us outside the café, "I shall go mad!" and,
leaping up from his seat, he rushed across the promenade and, taking
from his pocket a picture-postcard of some Hungarian beauty, he coaxed
Coleopteron to walk on to it, then bore him triumphantly back and
deposited him upon the leaf of a palm which overhung our table.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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