PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 156. May 28, 1919. [Illustration: "AUSTRIAE EST IMPERARE ORBI UNIVERSO". ONCE UPON A TIME. TO-DAY.] * * * * * CHARIVARIA. It was the pig, says an eminent Danish economist, that lost Germany the War. His omission to specify which pig seems almost certain to provoke further recriminations among the German High Command. *** After all, the War _may_ have wakened a new spirit in the nation. Up to the time of writing no one has attempted to corner mint-sauce. *** A movement, we hear, is on foot to give a public welcome to the cheeses on their return to our midst. It is thought that a march-past could easily be arranged. *** Hackney will supply electricity to consumers at a special rate during the Peace celebrations. The present price of one-and-sixpence per kilowatt-and-soda practically inhibits anything like deep-seated festivity. *** A Miners' Association in the North has decided not to establish a weekly newspaper. Pending other arrangements they will do a little light mining, but it must not be taken as a precedent. *** At a meeting of Hassocks allotment-holders a speaker stated that he had seen rabbits jump a fence five feet high. Experts declare that this is at least three feet over proof. *** As the outcome of suggestions by the Economy Committee at Eton Dr. ALINGTON has made certain restrictions in regard to various articles of dress, notably socks and mufflers. Henceforward only such socks as do not require muffling will be worn. *** The cow that walked into the lending library at Walton Heath has since explained that it merely wanted to look up "Manchuria" in the encyclopaedia. *** It is said that the question of neutrality has caused most of the delay in the formation of the League of Nations. We certainly realise the difficulty in deciding how Norway and Switzerland could come to grips, in the event of a War between these two countries, without infringing the laws of neutrality. *** "No harm to the moon will result from the eclipse of the sun on May 28th," states a writer in an evening paper. This is good news for those who have mining shares there. *** There is a falling off in the tanning of kids in India, says _The Shoe and Leather Trades Record_. Smith minor talks of migrating to the Orient. *** Government ale, says a trade paper, will shortly be on sale in some parts of Ireland. This certainly ought to be a lesson to them. *** Two Parisians who had previously arranged to fight a duel have refused to meet. It is supposed that they have quarrelled. *** As we go to press we are informed on good authority that the cat that developed rabies last week has now been successfully killed eight times, and it is expected that its final execution will have taken place by the time this appears in print. ***