A Berlin message indicates that the man who shot KURT EISNER has again been assassinated by the Spartacists. This, of course, cannot be the end of the business. The last and positively final execution of the man still rests with the German Government. *** There has never been a case of rabies in Scotland, says _The Evening News_. This speaks well for the bagpipes as a defensive weapon. *** According to a Boston message some Americans gave Admiral WOOD, U.S. Navy, a very cool reception the other day. In shaking hands with him they only broke seven small bones. *** We are pleased to be able to say that the recently demobilised soldier who accidentally swallowed some "plum and apple" in a London restaurant is well on the road to recovery. *** The number of hot-cross-bun specialists who, since Easter, have been in receipt of unemployment pay has not yet been disclosed for publication. *** A dog has returned to its home at Walsworth after being absent for two months. It is feared that he has been leading a double life. *** "Throughout the country," says a well-known daily paper, "the hedges and trees are now budding forth into green leaves." This, we understand, is according to precedent. *** "Is your rent raised?" asks a contemporary. With difficulty, if he _must_ know. *** Newcastle Justices have extinguished eight licences for redundancy. There is no reason for supposing that the offence was intentional. *** The report that the prehistoric flint axe recently found at Ascot had been claimed by Sir FREDERICK BANBURY, M.P., is denied. Sir FREDERICK, it appears, merely expressed warm approval of it. *** The Manchester Parks Committee is considering the question of opening the Municipal Golf Links for Sunday play. It is contended that the more anti-Sabbatarian features of the game could be eliminated by allowing players to pick out of a bunker without penalty. *** Much advice has recently appeared in the Press regarding the treatment of bites received from mad dogs, and in consequence there is a movement on foot among Missionaries to obtain some information regarding the best method of treating the bite of a cannibal. *** A Chicago woman has been charged with attempting to shoot her husband with a jewelled and gold-handled revolver. We are pleased to note that the American authorities are determined to put down such ostentation. *** It has come to our ears that a certain Conscientious Objector now feels so ashamed of his refusal to fight that he has practically decided to take boxing lessons by post. * * * * * [Illustration: "WHAT'S THAT THING YOU'VE GOT ON, ALBERT?" "TRENCH COAT." "BUT YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN THE TRENCHES." "I KNOW. THAT'S THE IDEA."] * * * * * LETTERS TO PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW. _(No answers required, thank you.)_