"Bless my soul," said the Authority, but it was easy to see that he was shaken, "I should think I know a Chiff-chaff when I hear one." "Ah, but do you know a Blackman's Warbler? One doesn't often hear them in this country. Now in Switzerland--" The bird said "Chiff-chaff" again with an almost indecent plainness of speech. "There you are!" I said triumphantly. "Listen," and I held up a finger. "You notice the difference? _Obviously_ a Blackman's Warbler." Everybody looked at the Authority. He was wondering how long it would take to get a book about birds down from London, and deciding that it couldn't be done that afternoon. Meanwhile "Blackman's Warbler" sounded too much like the name of something to be repudiated. For all he had caught of our mumbled introduction I might have been Blackman myself. "Possibly you're right," he said reluctantly. Another bird said "Chiff-chaff" from another tree, and I thought it wise to be generous. "There," I said, "now that _was_ a Chiff-chaff." The earnest-looking girl remarked (silly creature) that it sounded just like the other one, but nobody took any notice of her. They were all busy admiring me. Of course I mustn't meet the Authority again, because you may be pretty sure that when he got back to his books he looked up Blackman's Warbler and found that there was no such animal. But if you mix in the right society and only see the wrong people once it is really quite easy to be an authority on birds--or, I imagine, on anything else. A.A.M. * * * * * [Illustration: _The Woman_. "JAZZ STOCKINGS ARE THE LATEST THING, DEAR. HERE'S A PICTURE OF A GIRL WITH THEM ON." _The Man_. "WHAT APPALLING ROT! ER--AFTER YOU WITH THE PAPER."] * * * * * "HONOURS." (_BY A CYNIC_.) A DUKEDOM, GRAND OR OTHERWISE, NO LONGER IS AN ENVIED PRIZE WHEN EVERY DAY SOME FIERCE COMMISSION CLAMOURS FOR DUCAL INHIBITION. THE STYLE OF MARQUESS--THUSWISE SPELT-- IS PICTURESQUE, BUT, LIKE THE BELT OF EARLDOM, CANNOT LONG ABIDE OR STEM THE DEMOCRATIC TIDE. VISCOUNTIES STAND TO CHEER AND BLESS THE LABOURS OF THE PURPLE PRESS, AND BARONIES, ONCE HELD BY ROBBERS, ARE GIVEN TO PATRIOTIC JOBBERS. UNCOMPROMISING MALEDICTION RESTS ON THE BARONETS OF FICTION; IN ACTUAL LIFE THEY SERVE TO LINK A PARTY WITH THE STREET OF INK; WHILE KNIGHTHOOD'S LATEST HONOURS FALL UPON THE FUNNIEST MEN OF ALL. YES, WHILE OUR GRATITUDE ACCLAIMS THE JUSTLY DECORATED NAMES OF PEERS LIKE TENNYSON AND LISTER, THERE IS MUCH VIRTUE IN PLAIN MISTER. THE STYLE AND TITLE DEEMED MOST FIT BY DARWIN, HUXLEY, BURKE AND PITT, AND LATER ON BY A.J.B., ARE MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. * * * * * [ILLUSTRATION ECHO OF "SHOW SUNDAY." _VISITOR_. "WHAT'S THIS FELLOW DOIN' IN THE CORNER?" _ARTIST_. "OH, HE'S THERE JUST TO HELP THE COMPOSITION." _VISITOR_. "AWFULLY DECENT OF HIM--WHAT!"] THE DOMESTIC QUESTION SOLVED.