Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 158, June 2, 1920Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 158, June 2, 1920
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
I was somewhat alarmed when I heard of this, for I did not know how
Miss Penn-Cushing, who keeps all the girls' uncles in order, might
take it. My fears were groundless, perhaps stupid, for the immediate
result was an invitation to examine Mollie's form in literature at the
forthcoming Christmas examination. I felt uplifted in spirit; I felt
that people were beginning to understand me. I even entertained an
hallucination that perhaps Mollie might now treat my intellect with
respect and stop calling me "Old dear." Three inches taller I sat down
to my desk and, thanking Miss Penn-Cushing for the honour paid me, I
promised I would do my best, although it would be my first appearance
in the _role_.
I determined, however, not to allow this distinction to make me
overbearing to my inferiors at our next speech-day. I would be affable
to ordinary uncles, common parents and guardians of the other girls,
but I would lead the conversation artfully on to other literary
critics and examiners of the past. As a preparation I read up MATTHEW
ARNOLD.
It is not easy to be an examiner, I found. I would rather write ten
leading articles than one examination-paper. It appeared that I had
to set themes for essays as well as questions in literature. We never
learnt literature when I was young and I didn't know you could, but I
borrowed a text-book from Mollie and did my best.
The result was a crushing letter from the lady principal. She said
that "The Ten Points of a good Doll" seemed a preposterous subject
for senior students of literature to write about, and "My Favourite
Elopement in Fiction" would be outside the purview of any of her
girls. She would substitute instead (with my permission), "The Debt of
Literature (as well as Science) to DARWIN" and "My Favourite Piece of
Epic Poetry." In fine, if I did not really mind, she would herself set
all the questions and I should examine the answers. She thought that
the more fructiferous course.
How to mark was my chief difficulty. How many marks should one give a
darling with brown eyes and a musical laugh (Mollie has brought her to
tea often) who signs herself "Norah O'Brien," and winds up delightful
irrelevances about DARWIN and her abhorrence of reptiles with a
personal appeal to the examiner. I do not know what other examiners do
in such cases. It was a beautifully worded and most respectful appeal.
I decided to give her forty for Norah and forty for O'Brien. Both
names have always appealed to me.
This made it necessary for me to give eighty marks to her sister
Kathleen, who wrote really an excellent essay on a subject we had
stupidly forgotten to set. It was an excellent subject, and she has
even browner eyes than Norah, but as an examiner one must be rigid and
impartial.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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