"All I had to do therefore was to change my money in Otwiski for three times as much Triadropoldir currency, and then go up the line to the other place and change it back again, making fifteen hundred per cent, on the round trip. Of course you couldn't always change the full amount, but in a couple of months I had sixty thousand roubles--my valise was crammed with them--and I was only waiting to get down to the Field Cashier to change out and make my fortune." "And did you?" I asked. "No, I didn't. One morning the Reds arrived in Triadropoldir, and my servant and I only just got away with the valise on one of those inspection cars which you propel by pulling a handle backwards and forwards. A section of Red Cavalry came after us, and we took it in turns to work the handle." "Your servant won't ever be short of a job," I commented. "He ought to take to film-acting after that like a duck to water." "We soon finished my servant's ammunition and they were closing in on us fast. My hair had appreciably lifted my tin hat when I had a brain-wave and threw out a double handful of rouble notes. It worked like a charm; they all stopped to collect the money, and we had gone quite a distance before they caught us up again, I threw out more notes at intervals, and the last thousand roubles went just as we came in sight of DENIKIN'S outposts fifteen miles down the line. We were saved, but I had lost my fortune, for there was no chance of repeating the operation." I sighed. Then, without any regard for the conclusions of my fellow-passengers, I silently raised both my hands above my head. * * * * * [Illustration: _Ordinary Man_ (_to well-fed friend_). "HULLO! HOW ARE THINGS WITH YOU? MAKING LOTS OF MONEY, I SUPPOSE?" _Yorkshireman_. "NO. WE DON'T _MAKE_ MONEY AT BRADFORD--WE JUST PICK IT OOP."] * * * * * "She had her hair cut short, and claimed to be a member of a tilted family."--_Provincial Paper_. One with a bend sinister, we presume. * * * * * A leader of fashion at Ely Whose clothes were a bit down-at-heely Was quite overcome When he found he'd the sum That would buy him a Mallaby-Deeley. * * * * * "BLACK CATS' STRIKE THREAT." _Heading in a Sunday Paper of a report of a demand made by Viennese clerks for doubled salaries._ For "CATS'," read "COATS'." _O_ the diff! as WORDSWORTH said. * * * * * "Retriever Wanted; steady good worker: retrieve feather or fur, land or water."--_Provincial Paper_. The exile of Amerongen could do with one of this breed. * * * * * "The act of the donor suggests the lines: "'How far doth that little candle throw its beams On like a good deed in a naughty world.'" _Daily Graphic_.