Punch or the London Charivari, Volume 158, March 24, 1920.Various
General
Punch or the London Charivari, Volume 158, March 24, 1920.
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Once more the Militant Mode recurs
With clank of sabre and clink of spurs;
Once more the long grey cloaks adorn
The bellicose backs of the high-well-born;
Once more to the click of martial boots
Junkers exchange their grave salutes,
Taking the pavement, large with side,
Shoulders padded and elbows wide;
And if a civilian dares to mutter
They boost him off and he bites the gutter.
Down by the Brandenburger Thor
Kitchens are worked by cooks of war;
Loyal moustaches cease to sag,
Leaping for joy of the old war-flag;
Drums are beating and bugles blare
And passionate bandsmen rip the air;
Prussia's original ardour rallies
At the sound of _Deutschland ueber alles_,
And warriors slap their fighting pants
To the tune _Heil dir im Siegeskranz_.
Life, in a word, recalls the phase
Of the glorious Hohenzollern days.
What if a War's meanwhile occurred
And talk of a humbling Peace been heard?
Treaties are meant to be torn in two
And wars are made to be fought anew.
_Hoch_! for the _Tag_, by land and main,
When the Monarchy comes to its own again.
Surely tho wind of it, faint but sweet,
The Old Man sniffed in his Dutch retreat;
Surely it gave his pulse a jog
As he went for his thirteen thousandth log,
Possibly causing the axe to jam
When he thought of his derelict Potsdam,
Of his orb mislaid and his head's deflation,
And visions arose of a Restoration.
(If not for himself, it might be done
For LITTLE WILLIE or WILLIE'S son).
Alas for the chances of child or sire!
The _coup_ went phut, for the KAPP missed fire.
O.S.
* * * * *
A FLAT TO LET.
It was twelve o'clock (noon) and I was sitting over the fire in our
squalid lodgings reading the attractive advertisements of country
mansions in a weekly journal. I had just decided on a delightful Tudor
manor-house with every modern convenience, a nice little park and
excellent fishing and shooting, when Betty burst upon me like a
whirlwind.
Her face was flushed and a fierce light shone in her usually mild
blue eyes. She looked like a Maenad or the incarnation of Victory at a
bargain sale.
"Come on," she gasped, seizing me by the arm. "Hurry."
"Good heavens! Is the house on fire? My child! Let me save my child."
"Oh, do come on," cried Betty; "there's not a moment to be lost."
"But how can I come on in slippers?" I demanded. "If I may not save
the young Henry Augustus, at any rate let me put on my boots."
Betty's only reply was to drag me from the room, hustle me through the
hall, where I dexterously caught my hat from the stand in passing, and
thrust me into the street.
"I've got a flat," she panted. "That is, I've got it if we're quick
enough. Hi, taxi!"
"But, my dear," I remonstrated as the taxi-driver, cowed by the look
in her eye, drew up to the kerb, "if we take a taxi we shan't have
anything left to pay for the flat."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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