"Yes, if it starts by being hot there, as it did just now, I suppose it is." "What happens if it starts by being cold?" "It rains. I've explained that. The cold air can't contain so much moisture--" "Don't begin that again. What about B? Is it any good going there? We had frightfully high pressure there at one time." "Yes, but it rains so much at A that more and more air rushes from B to A to fill up the gap caused by the air rising on account of the heat generated by the rain falling, and very soon you get frightfully low pressure at B--" "Is it fine then?" "No, it rains." "You surprise me. But suppose it had started by being low pressure at B?" "Why, then of course it would have been raining the whole time at B." "Where would A have got its rush of air from then?" "From the place C." "Is it fine there?" "No, it's raining. It is like B was after the air rose at A." "Oh. Then whatever happens at these places, A, B and C, it _must_ rain." "More or less, yes. More really." "Are there any more places? I mean, if I am at A where ought I to go?" "There is a place, D--" "What happens there?" "Conditions are favourable for the formation of secondary depressions." "Then where do you advise me to go?" "I'm not advising you. You asked me to explain the weather, and I have." "I think you have. I understand it now." * * * * * I hope you all do. A.P.H. * * * * * "Sir,--I can recall no better description of a gentleman than this-- 'A gentleman is one who never gives offence unintentionally.' Unfortunately I do not know to whom tribute should be paid for this very neat and apt definition."--_Letter in Daily Paper._ We rather think the printer had a hand in it. * * * * * [Illustration: THE DIFFICULTY OF OBTAINING THE CORRECT ATMOSPHERE AT COUNTRY WEDDINGS, OWING TO THE CHANGED CONDITIONS OF VILLAGE LIFE, HAS LED MESSRS. HARRIDGES TO COME TO AN ARRANGEMENT WITH THE CHORUS OF THE FRIVOLITY THEATRE TO ATTEND AND FURNISH THE REQUISITE NOTE OF PICTURESQUE SIMPLICITY. TERMS ON APPLICATION.] * * * * * [Illustration: _Guide_ (_after ascent of a hundred-and-twenty steps_). "THESE, SIR, ARE THE FAMOUS GARGOYLES I MENTIONED." _Perspiring American._ "GEE! I THOUGHT YOU SAID 'GARGLES.'"] * * * * * THE TRANSMIGRATION OF BOWLES. Little Mr. Bowles was very happy as long as he was only second mechanic at the garage of Messrs. Smith Brothers, of High Street, Puddlesby. It was when he became a member of the Puddlesby Psychical Society that his troubles began. Up till then he had been as sober and hard-working a little man as ever stood four foot ten in his shoes and weighed in at seven stone four. But above all he was an expert in rubber tyres; he knew them, I had almost said, by instinct.