Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 159, August 4th, 1920Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 159, August 4th, 1920
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"General Outlook.--It appears probable that further expressions will
arrive from the westward or north-westward before long, and that after
a temporary improvement the weather will again become unsettled; with
much cloud and occasional rain."--_Evening Paper._
In which event further expressions (of a sultry character) may be expected
from all round the compass.
* * * * *
"COME UNTO THESE YELLOW SANDS."
[Illustration: "COME UNTO THESE YELLOW SANDS AND THEN--]
[Illustration: --TAKE HANDS."--[_The Tempest_, Act I., Sc. 2. ]
* * * * *
QUEEN'S COUNSEL.
The Fairy Queen shook her head in answer to my question. "No," she said, "I
have no favourite flower."
She had dropped in after dinner, as was her occasional habit, and at the
moment sat perched on a big red carnation which stood in a flower-glass on
the top of my desk.
"You see," she continued, floating across to where I was sitting and
lowering her voice confidentially, for there were a good many flowers
about--"you see it would never do. Just think of the trouble it would
cause. Imagine the state of mind of the lilies if I were to show a
preference for roses. There's always been a little jealousy there, and
they're all frightfully touchy. The artistic temperament, you know. Why, I
daren't even sleep in the same flower two nights running."
"Yes, I see," I said. "It must be very awkward."
I lapsed into silence; I had had a worrying day and was feeling tired and a
little depressed. The Queen fluttered about the room, pausing a moment on
the mantel-shelf for a word or two with her old friend the Dresden china
shepherdess. Then she came back to the desk and performed a brief _pas
seul_ on the shining smooth cover of my pass-book. My mind flew instantly
to my slender bank-balance and certain recent foolishnesses.
"Talking of favourites," I said--"talking of favourites, do you take any
interest in racing?"
Instantly the Queen subsided on to my rubber stamp damper, which was
fortunately dry.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "I take a _great_ interest in racing. I love it. I
can give you all sorts of hints."
I thought it was a pity she hadn't called a week or two earlier. I might
have been a richer woman by a good many pounds.
"And there are so many kinds," continued the Queen earnestly. "Now in a
butterfly race it's always best just to hold on and let them do as they
like. It's not a bit of use trying to make them go straight. Rabbits are
better in that way, but even rabbits are a little uncertain at times. Full
of nerves. But have you ever tried swallow-racing?" she went on
enthusiastically. "It's simply splendid. You give them their heads and you
never know _where_ you may get to. But, anyway, it doesn't really matter in
the least afterwards who wins; it's only while it's happening that you feel
so thrilled, isn't it?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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