"They all do," he replied, with the sententiousness of gallantry, as though speaking from abysmal depths of knowledge. "Yes, but she has a more catholic taste than most," I said. "She's the only brunette--or, if it comes to that, the only blonde--I ever knew with a weakness for--well, I'll make you guess." "Preserved ginger?" he suggested. "No," I said. "American pop-corn?" "Not that I know," I said. "Tell me," he replied. "Condensed milk," I said. "Good Heavens!" he exclaimed. "Condensed milk? That's the oddest thing I've ever heard." "That's what I'm getting," I said; "and it won't injure your chances with her if you take her a pot of honey." "But I don't know her," he submitted. "It doesn't matter," I said; "she's the most unconventional creature in the world--just a child of nature." "Delicious!" he murmured. "She's a Canadian, you see," I added. "Oh, a Canadian," he replied, as though that explained everything. "And, by the way, what's her name?" "She lets me call her Winnie," I said. "And what do I call her?" he asked. "Well," I said, "if I were you I'd call her Winnie too. She'd love it." "This is extraordinarily interesting," he replied. "But you know I'm far too shy to do a thing like that." When, however, the time came and we were shown into Winnie's drawing-room in Mappin Terrace and the most adorable brown bear in captivity came lumbering towards us, he called her Winnie as naturally as her keeper does or any of the Canadian soldiers whose mascot she was, and he held the honey-pot for her until her tongue had extracted every drop. She then clawed at his pocket for more. "I told you she'd like you," I said. "Isn't she a pet? And a brunette all right? I didn't deceive you." "She's perfect," he said. "Absolutely _the_ Queen of She-Bears." And so say all good Zoologicians. E. V. L. * * * * * [Illustration: =A GERMAN INVASION.= HERR NOAH (_to Frau Noah_). "HERE WE ARE AGAIN--JUST AS IF NOTHING HAD HAPPENED!"] * * * * * =ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.= _Monday, November 22nd._--Fortunately or unfortunately, according to one's point of view, this deponent was not a spectator of the fight in the House of Commons this afternoon, having been himself previously knocked out by a catarrhal microbe possessing, as the sporting journals say, "a remarkable punch." He therefore gives the fracas an honourable miss. The Tariff Reformers were horrified to hear from Sir ROBERT HORNE that nearly four hundred thousand pounds' worth of clocks had been imported from Germany this year. They were quite under the impression that when we wound up the Watch on the Rhine clocks were included.