All the same, if Enderby really thinks and believes that, because in a nasty cross-wind I happened to be slicing badly and didn't know the course and lost a ball at the twelfth, and he holed twice out of bunkers and certainly baulked me by sniffing on the fifteenth tee, and laid a stymie, mark you, of all places at the seventeenth, that I can't beat him three times out of five in normal conditions and not with that appalling caddy ---- well, I suppose one must do one's best to relieve a fellow-creature of his hallucinations, mustn't one? EVOE. * * * * * [Illustration: THE BOBLET. BRITANNIA (_counting her change_). "WHAT'S THIS?" OUR MR. CHAMBERLAIN. "THAT, MADAM, IS THE NEW SHILLING. IT HAS MORE ALLOY THAN THE OLD, BUT THE SAME PURCHASING POWER." BRITANNIA. "PURCHASING WEAKNESS, YOU MEAN."] * * * * * [Illustration: _Host_ (_by way of keeping his guest's mind off the state of the course_). "ASTONISHING HOW QUICKLY PEOPLE HAVE FORGOTTEN THE WAR." _Guest_. "WHAT--WITH THIS MUD, AND YOU AT THE SLOPE?"] * * * * * OUR HEAVY-WAITS. Our Boxing Correspondent sends us the following gloomy forecast. We have pointed out to him that Mr. COCHRAN has recently made a definite contract for a meeting between DEMPSEY and CARPENTIER. Our Correspondent replies that this does not affect his attitude, and urges us to publish his predictions of further delay. We do so under protest. _Paris, December 22nd, 1920._--M. DESCHAMPS (CARPENTIER'S Manager) denies all knowledge of any agreement with Mr. COCHRAN. _New York, December 24th, 1920._--Mr. C. B. COCHRAN says that DESCHAMPS must be dotty. He (C. B.) is returning by the _Mauretania_ to-morrow. _London, April 17th, 1923._--As Mr. COCHRAN and M. DESCHAMPS have not yet come to an agreement the fight for the World's Heavy-Weight Championship is indefinitely postponed. JOE BECKETT meets Bombardier WELLS to-night at the Circle. _London, April 18th, 1923._--Since the days of JIM CORBETT no more polished exponent of the fistic art has graced the ring than our Bombardier Billy. Thunders of applause greeted his appearance in the "mystic square" last night. He flashed round his ponderous opponent, mesmerising him with the purity of his style, the accuracy of his hitting, the brilliance of his foot-work. He held the vast audience spell-bound. BECKETT won on a knock-out in the second round. _London, August 11th, 1924._--Mr. LOVAT FRASER in a powerful article (written _entirely_ in italics) in _The Daily Mail_ points out the fearful tension the peace of Europe is undergoing through the continued differences between Messrs. COCHRAN and DESCHAMPS, and demands to know what the PREMIER is doing about it. _London, August 24th, 1924._--Mr. LLOYD GEORGE, acting under Mr. LOVAT FRASER'S orders, has gone to Lympne (kindly lent by Sir PHILIP SASSOON), where he will be joined by Mr. COCHRAN, M. DESCHAMPS and M. MILLERAND.