CYCLONE IN THE CHANNEL ISLANDS. "Meteorological Notes. Harbour Office, Jersey. Wind - E.W.E. - Strong Breeze." _Jersey Paper._ * * * * * "To get away, the man must have jumped from a height of about ten feet to the ground, then across a garden, and over a wall about eight feet high into a laneway."--_Irish Paper._ Some "lep," as they say in Ireland. * * * * * "In the House of Lords on Saturday, the expiring Lords Continuance Bill [was] read a third time and passed."--_Provincial Paper._ Trust the Peers for looking after themselves. * * * * * [Illustration: _Child (saying prayers_). "GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD-AND-BUTTER." _Governess._ "NO, DEAR--NOT BUTTER." _Child._ "MARGE, THEN."] * * * * * LETTERS I NEVER POSTED. CONCERNING GOOD RESOLUTIONS. TO THE GIRL AT THE EXCHANGE. The New Year is upon us and with it comes the determination to mend our bad habits and make serious efforts to turn over a new leaf. Perhaps you have already thought of this and have made some good resolutions; perhaps, on the other hand, you cannot think of anything amiss that needs correcting. In this case will you let me help you_?_ In every other respect you may be perfection, but as an exchange operator, which is the only capacity in which (alas!) I know you, you are often lacking. I have no doubt that you are charming in private life and that we should get on famously if we met at dinner; but you have an irritating way of giving me the wrong number, which I do most cordially hope you will lose during 1921. When I protest, you merely say you are sorry, but what I suggest is that an ounce of careful listening at first is worth tons of sorrow later. Kingston doesn't really sound a bit like Brixton, and yet yesterday, when I asked for a Kingston number, you put me at once on to the same number in the other suburb. Constantly when I say I want 2365 you give me 2356. To give you your due you are always, I will admit, sorry; but.... Another thing. Sometimes, when you ring me up and I answer, all you do is to ask, "Number, please," as though I had rung you. (It is then that I feel most that I should like to wring you.) When I reply, "But you rang me," you revert to your prevailing regretful melancholy and say, "Sorry you were troubled," and before I can go deeply into the question and discover how these things occur you ring off. Can't you make an effort during 1921 not to do this? Let it be a year of gladness.